Wednesday 30 March 2011

Mama Peace vs Papa Peace (Part 1)


Pidgin version:
I no dey vex.....
but I don tire
and I wan rest
from your palaver.
Abeg come dey go !

Your own don too much......
you carri my own sister,
then you follow Dora from church;
and even give belle to our neighbour
Abeg come dey go !

Everyday I dey fast and pray.......
and pretend say I no see,
just make you for stay
so people no go laff me.
Abeg come dey go !

Your cup don full......
I don see say you no go change
and I don begin look like fool,
wey just dey manage.
Abeg come dey go !

E no easy to bear......
to separate no be small ting.
Five pickin and marriage of twenty year
na real big ting.
But, abeg come dey go !

But, come make I tell you one ting
before you go.
Out of all our five pickin
Na only Peace be your own.
NOW, come dey go !

English version:
I really am not vexed....
but I am fed up
and I want a rest
from all your trouble.
Please go !

You behaviour is a bit much...
You slept with my sister,
ravaged Dora from church
and then, impregnated our neighbour.
Please go !

Everyday I fast and pray....
and pretend that I am blind
to your sneaky ways
so I can save this sham marriage.
But, please go !

Your cup is truly full....
because I now see you are no gent
and I have begun to look like a fool
who accepts a man who will never repent.
Please go !

This is hard for me, yes ....
separation is not an easy decision.
Five children and twenty years
makes this moment grief-laden.
However, please go !

But, I must tell you one thing....
before you disappear into the blue.
Amongst our five offspring
Only Peace is really for you
Now, just go !

*Inspired by dysfunctional relationships*

Saturday 26 March 2011

Sneaking in.......and saying thanks..

If you've ever tried sneaking in into a classroom, wedding or office late; you'll know how I feel right now.

I feel like I've been playing truant. Calling myself a blogger when I haven't even posted anything new in 24 days! Yes 24 days!!!

Oh...the shame!!!

And to make matters worse, I have been unashamedly visiting my fave blogs. Yup, if you are on my blog roll, I've been there ........reading, commenting and generally sighing at my laziness! To make myself feel better, I usually console myself by saying I have 'writer's block'! Hmph..that's a lie. I've been lazy - pure and simple *sneaky laugh*

Oh well, this is just to say: I have finally gathered enough energy to update my blog. I've even given it a facelift because spring is finally here!!!

So, my thanks to Pretty Lashes ;  Adellemaria and Omobaadeteju for giving me the ONE LOVELY BLOG award. Thanks so much. I am especially honored because these lovely ladies are definietly women with good taste.....Yup, I can tell by the way they write!

Well, the award requires me to
              -  Tell you seven facts about me you aren’t aware of
              -  Pass the award to fifteen recently discovered blogs that I “really” like
              -  Notify the lucky chums of their awards

......7 facts about me that you arent aware of:
(1) I find it hard to judge people because I have recieved unbelievable acts of kindness from people you would usually avoid. On the other hand, I have witnessed disgustingly hypocritical acts of wickedness from seemingly 'pious' people.

(2) I don't care whether any of my boys marry a non-Nigerian. I just pray that God blesses each of them with a woman whom they love (and who loves them back) - and a home that will be an oasis from the wicked world we live in.

(3)  I think religion is over-complicated by human beings. A christain who does not respect his neighbours is not superior to an atheist who is committed to helping others.

(4) If I won the lottery today, I would keep it quiet. However,  I would sponsor indigent kids through school - quietly. I am a great believer in Education - as a great tool for self-empowerment and social mobility

(5) I would rather eat cream cakes than eat brocolli or spinach. However, I eat my greens because I want to look good! *sigh*

(6) I love to sleep.....I could sleep all day if I had the chance. My husband is still amazed by this! *smile*

(7) In my head, I still think I am 17. Whenever I look in the mirror, I wonder who that 'woman' is. In fact, I cringe when people call me 'madam'!! *sigh*

Well, as its taken me so long to reply......and most bloggers have been tagged, I wont bore you all by passing on the award........

However, I would like YOU to tell me just one thing your parents /spouse/ friends dont know about you


Wednesday 2 March 2011

A lecture from my son

Apologies for the long absence. Unfortunately, other commitments (work, kids, family etc) have distracted me from writing.........*smile*

Something on my mind:

Whenever I get together with old friends, there’s nothing we like to do than eat, drink and have a good old chinwag (leisurely chat / gossip)
Invariably, we end up arguing/discussing Nigeria – especially about politics and our plans to return home. This happens on a regular basis as we always meet up with friends every other week.
You can only imagine my surprise when after one such visit – and chinwag – my first son came up to me:

Prof1: ‘Mum, why do you always talk about going back to Nigeria’
Me: ‘Because that’s where I grew up and I would love to return there when I’m older because the weather is warm and there’s so much help around you’
Prof1: ‘Help?’
Me: ‘Yes…..I have more relatives there so there are more people to help me with things that I might need. For example, shopping, house-keeping….’
Prof1: (empathically) ‘Well, you are not going back!’
Me: (taken aback) …..’I’m not leaving now…I mean later….when I’m older…..’
Prof1: ‘I know. You cannot go back.
Me: (confusedly) ‘Why?’
Prof1: ‘..Because you have to stay here to take care of my children!’
Me: (smiling) ‘Ohhh…Well, I’ll come here in summer and leave in winter…How about that?’
Prof1: ‘No, that wont work!
Me: (laughing) ‘What about nursery for them?’
Prof1: (seriously) ‘They’ll go to nursery for two days and come to you for three days!’
Me: (now speechless) ‘Emmm…….’
Prof1: ‘Seriously mum, you really have to stay here all year. I will tell my wife to drop my children here on her way to work because I want them to eat jollof rice and sleep in my old bed!
Me: (stuttering in shock) ….’Em…..okay!’

This conversation surprised me because I really did not think kids could plan that far ahead. I was impressed!

However, it did get me thinking about the fact that one of our (immigrants) biggest challenges here is childcare. Nursery fees are exorbitant to say the least and take a huge chunk out of young families’ pay packet. In fact, I can honestly say that childcare is one of the reasons young families - who have no other family members living close by - struggle to save or invest for their future.

The support of family is a blessing when you have young children. Indeed, I was very conscious of this when my kids were much younger – For example, at one time, I had two kids in nursery at the same time – this cost us a minimum of £250 per week!

I now hear that nursery fees have even increased and this amount is now a distant memory.

Considering, I had 3 different children passing through nursery over the course of 8 years – one can only imagine how much went on nursery fees! I cannot count the number of times I moaned about the fact that my mum could not come over to help (my parents are quite elderly)

My son got me thinking……If I do return back to Nigeria…am I not leaving my kids to go through the same childcare challenge I went through? Is that fair? Even, am I kidding myself that I will definitely return to Nigeria when I get older?

Do tell me:
If you live abroad, do you see yourself returning to your home country anytime soon…..
If you don’t live abroad - even with all the challenges you hear those abroad face - would you consider relocating to Europe, US etc if you had a chance?

PS –
I would like really honest answers, so I have decided to allow anonymous comments for a week. Thanks