Romantic Relationships: Lessons Learnt (pt. 2)

Thank you for all your comments and feedback since I posted Part I. Before I begin part 2, here is my disclaimer again: 

       The opinions expressed here are solely based on personal experience and do not in any way pretend to be the definitive, all-encompassing  truth about all relationships.

Now, with regards to romantic relationships, here are the final 4 lessons I have learnt so far:

 (4)  FINANCIAL STUPIDITY CAN BE FATAL

     I always hear people say 'Money is the root of all evil'. I beg to amend this by saying - 'MISUSE of money is the root of all evil'. To me, money is a useful thing to have - because it can help one take care of certain challenges. However, most people underestimate how important financial common sense can be to the sustainability of any romantic relationship. Partners seem to avoid talking about money and this does not make sense. 
Will you get into a car with an inexperienced driver? OR Get into a plane with a visibly drunk pilot. I assume NOT. However, I see those situations as similar to instances where a financially savvy person enters into a relationship with a financially stupid person.

Even if you love someone with all your heart, with time, it can get a bit tiring if the person is a LEECH or a SPENDRIFT or a MISER. 

An example please:

Mary met Nonso at a London event. Although she was earning more than him when they started dating, she didn't mind that he couldn't buy her nice things or take her to special places. Mary was a great believer in 'investing time and effort in people' - and she felt that - apart from being broke all the time Nonso was a great boyfriend. 

While some of her friends felt Nonso was a bit selfish, she believed that he would 'spoil her' in future. She was happy to buy him gifts, she was happy to help him out from time to time, she was even happy to contribute to his air fare whenever he wanted to go back to Nigeria to see his aged parents. 

Her friends were not convinced his intentions were genuine and it got to a stage where Mary bought her own birthday presents and passed them off as from Nonso - just to keep her friends quiet. She even considered relocating from London to Manchester - to be with him because she wanted them to set up home together.

Long story short, after waiting 5 years for Nonso to propose - and for her 'investment' to pay off; she found out that he had been secretly dating a girl in Nigeria. How did she find out? ............Well, last November, Mary's close friend (Cha-Cha) went home to Enugu. While there, Cha-Cha's cousins dragged her to an engagement party in Nsukka. When Cha-Cha got there..........................she discovered the party was actually Nonso's - He was celebrating his engagement to his Naija based girl friend !

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying a man MUST shower a girl with presents etc to prove his love - or  vice versa. However, I believe that no matter how poor you are if you really love someone, YOU MUST DO YOUR BEST TO SHOW IT. Buy whatever you can afford, spend whatever you can afford BUT DO SOMETHING.

Financial stupidity comes in many forms:

- An inability to save

- An inability to control spending

- An inability to invest a single penny on one's partner/ home/ family

- An inability to plan - financially - for one's future

This kind of stupidity is especially harmful - when it involves another person's life/ emotions. Yes, financial stupidity can truly kill love, murder affection and strangle respect.

(5) PRECIOUS IS A PERSONAL DEFINITION

One of my favourite passages ffrom the Bible is Matthew 7:6

"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces'

While this passage relates to faith, the message is also a warning that one should not give something precious to those who do not value it. In a relationship, one must remember that PRECIOUS IS A PERSONAL DEFINITION. Some people value gold, others beads. Some cars, others property. Some value company, others solitude. What one defines as  'precious' differs from person to person.

I cannot count the number of times I have heard a girl complain...'He used me. He was the first man I ever slept with and he dumped me' Yes, I do accept that your virginity is a precious asset. However, I must remind you that it is only precious to YOU. If you decide to lose it to someone, do bear in mind that that 'special moment' MIGHT just be just another quickie to him.

Again, I have heard men complain that a girlfriend/ wife does not respect their 'precious' mother and they are not willing to accept that. In an ideal world, the mother-in-law and wife/girlfriend would meet for the first time and immediately bond because they have a common object of affection - the son. However, we must bear in mind that this 'special mother' is only special to the son. Her value might become evident to the girlfriend/wife with time...not immediately...but with time. 

So, the man must understand that it might take time for these two women to bond....if they ever do. Until they do, it is the man's duty to protect his partner - advising her on what the mum likes/ dislikes. It is also his duty to make his mother aware that his partner has his best interest at heart - while still reassuring his mum that her place in his heart remains.

Yes, 'precious' is personal. Just because you have always placed great value on acquiring a PhD, dont assume your husband will automatically share your dream. Just because you feel a retirement home in Nigeria is an ultimate goal, dont assume your wife will automatically have the same dream. 

A long term romantic relationship can be compared to a debate - you often have to convince the other party that you have a valid argument. With love and patience, PRECIOUS WILL BECOME A SHARED DEFINITION. 

(6) CHOOSE YOUR THREESOMES CAREFULLY 

    Not THAT KIND of threesome........you naughty person *cheeky smile*

    I refer to any person you let into your relationship. A lot of women have a habit of discussing their relationship problems with friends and family members.

    It is important to remember that most people are not honest about what goes on behind closed doors:                                                                                                              I had a very good friend - lets call her Mugu - who had been married for just over a year. She always shared her marital problems with all her friends - It was always one thing or the other. However, her biggest grievance against her husband was that he was always out with his friends. Every Friday and Saturday night he could be found in his favourite Naija bar in South East London.                                                                                                                                   Whenever she complained to her friends, one of them in particular - Amy - was always telling her 'If it were me, I will do this or that' OR 'Do not to take rubbish' OR 'Put your foot down' OR 'Show your husband who is boss'....... ..                                                                                                   Anyway, one day, Amy advised Mugu to drive to this bar and embarass the man. Mugu did so and her husband was mad. He felt this was the ultimate insult - especially as his friends witnessed his wife accosting him so publicly. When he got home, the husband demanded an apology and Mugu refused. He then proceeded to pack up a bag and drive to his best friend's house - where he stayed for the next one month.                                                                                                                                      During that period, Mugu became worried that her marriage was over and spoke to Amy. Amy advised her to stand her ground. What happened.........was that apparently, as a very good friend, Amy started visiting Mugu's husband in the office - to 'console' him - and after some time, she started 'consoling' him with sex ! 
Indeed, whenever you open your mouth to discuss your relationship with another person, you must remember that you now have a third person in the relationship. A threesome must be mutually beneficial and it must not disturb the dynamics of the relationship. Comparing a partner to another is a recipe for disaster.

Personally, I prefer discussing such issues with acquintances that are oustide my usual circle of friends OR with much older people. Remember that people are not likely to be honest about their own relationship. Shine your eye no be curse.


(7) BURNT BRIDGES MIGHT HAUNT YOU

   English saying: ''Don't burn your bridges behind you" - means always leave people in good terms as you never know when you might meet them again
   Love is intoxicating and the beginnings of a love affair or a strong sexual relationship can be fraught with silly mistakes that come back to haunt one. An example please:
      Donald, a Nigerian, met Sophie - a white American girl - when he went over to the US to start a new life. When they met, Donald was a security guard at a local supermarket and Sophie was also working there as a cashier. They both fell in love and eventually moved in together. Intoxicated by love and the fact that he was now in the US, Donald could often be heard dissing his origins with negative statements like:
        'Nigeria is a jungle, I can never live there' OR 'Nothing good ever comes from Nigeria'
       'Black girls are a waste of space' OR 'Black people cannot lead themselves' OR 'Nigeria is a filthy place'

Over time, Sophie and Donald had two boys. As the boys grew up, Donald wanted them to know more about Nigeria so when he finally got his papers regularised - and he could now travel to Nigeria, he suggested that they visit Nigeria to see where he came from - especially as his parents were getting old . His wife's reaction - 'ABSOLUTELY NOT !' All she had heard about Nigeria was negatives. How could she trust that her children would be safe?


People burn their bridges in different ways:
- Some cut off their friends because they feel their new love is more important
- Some pull away from their family members because their family's modest means might be 'embarrassing' when compared to the wealth of their new lover's family
- Some turn their back on their origins because it is not 'cool' enough.....


Believe me, such actions always haunt you later. We are who we are. If you deny something that is part of you, that thing will deny you one day. Honesty between couples makes life so much easier.




SO,
These are the 7 main lessons i have learnt about romantic relationships - so far. Of course there are many more, but I have to be brief. The truth is that men and women are fundamentally different so it takes hard work for any couple to unify their shared goals and dreams. I grew up in a house full of girls - and I now have only sons so I can officially confirm that boys/men are quite different from girls.

Now consider this - a romantic relationship between two people involves bringing together two people with different childhoods, different life experiences, different values and maybe even differing beliefs. Considering how difficult it is for siblings to live together without fighting from time to time.....one must understand that romantic relationships have a lot of differences to contend with. Why do some work? Because real love can be a great overcomer.

A house divided against itself cannot and will not stand. It can never withstand the test of time. A couple have to disagree to agree. However, they MUST respect each other and put each other first. 

I pray that each of my sons will find a loving partner someday because life is too hard and complicated for someone to go through it alone. Real love and happiness are worth more than all the gold in the world and if one is blessed with good health also......nobody can hold one back.

I wish you all the same - good health, real love and happiness. Do let me know your own lessons you have learnt about love. xoxoxo

PS - I just realised that its past midnight here. Apologies to UK peeps that I posted late. I'm on US time *smile*

Romantic Relationships: Lessons Learnt (pt. 1)

Since I started this blog, I have received interesting emails from readers. Thank you.

Most of these email have been relationship related, with questions like - ‘How does one keep a marriage fresh?’............ ‘How does one continue to pursue one's dreams despite the distractions that come with marriage and family life?'.......................'How does one deal with belligerent in-laws?’............'How does one cope with childlessness?'............ etc etc

I have often replied these questions as best as I can – based on personal experience. However, I do feel that it would be a good idea to share what I have learnt about romantic relationships so far.

Before I do this, I would like to issue a disclaimer – The opinions expressed here are solely based on personal experience and do not in any way pretend to be the definitive, all-encompassing  truth about all relationships.

So, here are the seven things I have learnt about romantic relationships so far:

1.       (1)  NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOUR PARTNER

I have come across so many instances where someone has cheated with a person considered to be ‘beneath/ less than/ inferior to‘ his/her partner. The case of Arnold Shwarznegger illustrates this best:  Married to a woman who hails from one of America’s political dynasties, he chose to father a child with his domestic help and then keep this a secret from his wife – for over ten years. 

Sad to say, my personal experience is that this is a common occurrence in Nigeria - where I have seen so many male relatives/ family friends do same.

However, this kind of behaviour is not exclusive to men. I know of a successful business man who only found out that 3 of his 7 kids were not his, after 15 years of marriage. He only found out by chance - when they all  had to take medical tests because one of the children had a kidney complaint.

Basically, NEVER take your partner for granted. 'Body no be firewood'....If you feel that you are too good or smart for your partner, you might be shocked to find out that s/he thinks the same. Indeed, as a starving person will not wait for a well cooked meal, that is how a frustrated/ restless/ dissatisfied partner might choose to find comfort elsewhere. As my people say.....'Dirty water dey quench fire'

(2) LOVE MIGHT FLOUNDER*...........BUT RESPECT SHOULD NOT

(*Flounder = to struggle)

 From personal experience - and that of my friends - love is not a constant. Sometimes one is overwhelmed by the love one feels for a partner. Other times  - especially when you argue - you wonder how you could ever love them. 

This is totally normal. My father once said - 'If two friends NEVER quarrel, one of them is cheating the other'. Same with marriage, disagreements must arise. 

Love may flounder, however respect should be a constant. A family friend of ours tolerated her lazy and selfish husband for over ten years. Even though she was earning more than him, she respected him, operated a joint bank account and consulted him every time she had to make a financial decision. She is one of the most frugal women I have ever known. However, one day, she found receipts for expensive dinners (for two), and hotel rooms. This gave her a clue that he was lavishing money on women outside. Her fears were finally confirmed the day she discovered that he had a secret bank account/ credit card. That was the day she lost respect for him and decided the marriage was over.

Yes, love might flourish and flounder....but the day respect flounders, is the day the camel's back will definitely be broken.

(3) ONE CANNOT CHANGE AN UNWILLING ADULT 

Two scenarios:

I - Obi met Lisa at a party. She was the girl every man wanted. Her silk jumpsuit clung to all her curves and no-one was left in any doubt that her body could rival Beyonce's anyday. Obi started dating Lisa and he loved the fact that she was always lively, up for a party and extremely confident. He also liked the fact that she had lots of friends and she was always busy - so she was different from his previous girlfriends who had always been clingy and needy. It didn't matter that she wasn't keen on domestic stuff - he wanted an equal partner.

II - Andy first noticed Boyo at his sister's wedding. She wasn't the most beautiful girl there but she was by far the nicest. Despite the fact that she was running around - trying to cater to guests and the bride, at the same time - she always had a lovely smile on her face.

Andy couldn't stop staring at her ...she seemed familiar but he couldnt place the face. After asking around, he discovered that this was 'Little Boyo' - his little sister's friend who used to come to their house with plaited hair, school uniform and socks. She sure had blossomed into a graceful woman. Long story short, he asked her out because she was the epitome of what he felt a good girl should be - respectful, demure, conservative, studious and quiet. A welcome change to all the gold-diggers he had dated in the past.

Well, both couples eventually got married. 

Present day - Obi is getting fed up with Lisa's love of parties and her lack of domestic skills. Matters were made worse when Obi's mother came over to London for a visit and a busy Lisa served her Jollof rice she bought from their local Nigerian restaurant. Another worry for Obi is that quite a few of Lisa's friends have remained unmarried and he questions their influence on his wife. Lisa's response - 'This is me...take it or leave it'

As for Andy, his job - as a Corporate solicitor - means he attends cocktail parties and entertains clients, to network. However, Boyo doesn't enjoy such functions and often opts out. She prefers to stay at home with the kids or attend church functions. Her response - 'My reserved nature is what you loved when you met me.....why do you expect me to change?'

Indeed, one CANNOT change an UNWILLING adult - persistent attempts will only end in tears. I'm sure you've heard of the saying 'You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot force it to drink........ .......?!

To Be Continued - I will post part 2 on Wednesday (08/06/11). 

In the meantime, do let me know what you think about these first three observations. 

Have a peaceful week.


ALL PICS FROM: http://www.fotosearch.com/

General Housekeeping

This is just a quick post to say that I have made some changes to my blog title etc

I keep on getting emails asking whether I am the Naijamum / 9jamom who said this or the other - so I wish to make things simpler by using the acronym N.I.L (Naijamum in London)

Hope this clarifies things

Back soon
xoxoxoxo

Life is Not a Dress Rehearsal

I was tidying up today and I came across a bunch of old pictures I had kept aside to be organised later. These pictures dated back to when my first son was born - over a decade ago

Needless to say, I got distracted and I started going through all the pictures - Before I knew it, I was weeping silently.

I wept because I realised one thing - IT HAS NOT ALWAYS BEEN EASY..... BUT IT HAS BEEN.

Let me explain....:

There have been times when the kids have needed something and we have not been sure if we would be able to deliver. Such challenges could have distracted us from doing the right thing. However, by the grace of God, with good health and hard work, we delivered. It was not easy.....but it came to be.

There have been times when there have been so many commitments. Such challenges could have distracted one from the dreams one had for our home. However, with perseverance and God's blessings, we have delivered. It was not easy but it came to be

There have been times when ill-health have shaken the foundation we sought to build..We felt besieged and afraid as were almost distracted from our personal and professional dreams. However, with prayers and support from close ones, we recovered. It was not easy but it came to be

How easy is it to throw your hands up in the air and give up on life, friends, family and dreams? So easy....but we don't because we have hope that things will get better. The irony of life is that even when we are at death's door...we are still works in progress....still seeking perfection. WE ALL HANG ON TO HOPE !

Yes, as I looked at my kid's old pictures, I shed tears because it would have been so easy to have overlooked key milestones and said 'It doesn't matter'. However, when I look back, I now see that every struggle, sacrifice and effort was worth it. How can I tell?.............because I cannot go back in time and change anything.


One quote that I love is Rose Tremain's "Life is not a dress rehearsal." Whatever is worth doing - is worth doing well.

The video below is one of my all time favourites - 'REM's 'Everybody Hurts'. If you are hurting right now, please hang on. If someone you know is hurting...please help them hang on.....Hang on to life and hope !

Have a blessed week
xoxoxoxoxo

In My Bag

Sis Yemmie  tagged me in a bag meme. This involves taking a picture of my bag and all its contents.

This woman sef. I just thank my lucky stars that I have a designer bag or I would have died from shame. LOL

Anyway, here is a picture of my bag and all its valuable contents:

As you can see, this designer bag is a 'Buzz Lightyear' bag from the film 'Toy Story  3'

The contents:

(1) Disposable Spoon and Fork

(2) Drinking Straw

(3) Bottle Opener

(4) Serviette

(5) Toothpick

These items are in my bag because I like food and I aim to be always prepared - just in case I 'jam' free food.

LOL....Just kidding guys, That's my son's school lunch bag !

Here is a pic of my real bag:

The contents:

(Left to Right)

- Large Notebook: I use this for work-related stuff i.e. jotting down tasks, key info at work. I know a lot of people like using Windows Outlook to record tasks but I'm not a fan - because I like writing a daily list of work tasks and then smugly striking off whatever I've done. I also dont like the constant reminders you get from Outlook. It can be distracting when you are in the middle of something else.

- Smaller Notebook: I use this for personal notes i.e. ideas for research, this blog or poetry drafts

- Sunglasses:  As soon as I see a single ray of sunshine I put them on. LOL. Na one life oh....you have to rock that swagga.....any way, any day !

- Wallet: Loads of stuff in here...Old reciepts, Bank cards, Store cards ....little cash

- Novel: Adam Hochschild's 'King Leopold's Ghost' is about the exploitation of the Congo Free State between 1885 - 1908. It explores the atrocities committed by European colonial rulers in Africa. It is not an easy read at all. However, I am a firm believer in knowing more about the past because it often affects the present. As Bob Marley sang in Buffalo Soldier:

         ''If you know your history,
          Then you would know where you coming from,
          Then you wouldn't have to ask me,
          Who the 'eck do I think I am'' 

- Hand Cream 

- Hand Sanitizer:  This is an atiseptic alcohol rub - that I use when I am out and about in town. Particularly if I've been on public transport/ have used public bathrooms

- Red USB: For work stuff

- Black USB: For Personal Stuff

-  Pens 

- Pocket Tissues

- Packs of Dried Mango and Plaintain Chips:  I always have some nibbles in my bag because I often dont have time for breakfast and I want to avoid buying junk

- Bottle of Water:  I try to have some water on me because you can never tell when you will be stuck on a train mid-journey

- Phone 

- Keys 

- Comb 

- Oyster Card:  For travelling around London

- Trident Chewing Gum: For freshening my breath

- Make up Bag 

- Umbrella: In the UK, rain is never far away

Well, I dont know what my bag says about me. What do you think??

I'm now tagging the following people:

Ibhade
Ope Adebayo
Lady Ngo

Angel's Beauty
Enybee

Doyin

Kitkat

Ms Buki

Ginger

Prism

PET

9ja Foodie

Mimi B

Pretty Lashes

Nenyewa

Chizzy K 
Chizzy D

Tamuno

Vyvyka

Blessing

Unveiling Gold

If I failed to tag you please forgive me......However, do let me know what you think my bag says about me !

Have a fab weekend

xoxoxooxoxox

Celebrating Food

When I was growing up, I hated cooking because it was sooo tedious.

Every time I was told the cook, I knew that the whole process would be bogged down by unnecessary stress. Either one had to contend with erratic power supply (meaning blending cooking ingredients by hand) OR one had to deal with scarcity of cooking gas (meaning one had to use the kerosene stove) OR one had to go through the laborious process of boiling meat, chopping vegetables, washing beans, peeling yam, chopping vicious onions, chopping hot pepper (ata rodo) while trying to avoid the Major General (my mum) who was quick to point out any culinary mistakes.

Woe betide you if my mum was cooking and you were somewhere else ..mmm...Who born monkey ! She was constantly reminding me that I had to learn how to cook OR ELSE...........LOL

Needless to say, I avoided cooking whenever I could. I was relieved when I left for university as this meant that chore was now done with. However, after graduating from uni, moving to Lagos and living alone in my own little flat; I began to appreciate cooking as a skill. Maybe this was because it was done on my own terms and at my own pace. I could cook whatever I liked, whenever I felt like and however I felt like doing so. I then began to realise that being able to cook not only saved you money, it also meant you were in control of the quality of what went into your mouth - and body. It also meant that you could bring people together.

Food has a special significance for me. If a friend is celebrating, mourning, happy, sad, excited, overwhelmed......my first instinct is to make something nice and take it round to them. Food brings people together. Indeed, a clear sign that a stranger has been accepted is when his/her neighbours invite him/her round for a meal. Again, a giving person is more likely to share a meal with you or even share a recipe with you.

 I now love cooking and despite our differences, I always give kudos to my mum for teaching us how to cook. Not only cook ...but cook well. Since I started blogging, I have come across several fantastic food bloggers - all on my blogroll.

However, one in particular has impressed me - with her attention to detail, consistency, presentation skills and passion for food. Indeed, she has motivated me to start trying new recipes. For example, her Puff Puff recipe was given to me upon request and I have to say it was so easy to follow. Same with her Moi Moi  recipe.

This post is dedicated to 9ja Foodie - a blogger who consistently delivers. What is even more amazing about her is that she has proper recipes - as in measurements and stuff. Haba! I HAIL YOU OH!!!!

Here are a couple of meals I've prepared over the past few months...Enjoy...........:

FRIED RICE AND ASSORTED MEAT STEW

MEATPIE - NAIJA STYLE

DODO (FRIED PLANTAIN), BLACK EYE BEANS AND FLAKED FISH SALSA

DODO, ROAST PARSNIPS, ROAST CHICKEN, JOLLOF RICE, ROAST DUCK, MEATPIE,
AND ASSORTED MEAT STEW

SEAFOOD STIRFRY, SALMON WITH SOY SAUCE, RICE AND DODO

MOI MOI IN PLANTAIN LEAF - 9JA FOODIE RECIPE

LEMON DRIZZLE CAKE

MOIST CHOCOLATE SPONGE CAKE

SLICES OF CHOCOLATE AND LEMON DRIZZLE CAKE WITH CUSTARD 

HOT PEPPER SAUCE WITH GOAT MEAT AND DODO

TILAPIA FISH WITH EFO RIRO AND STEWED BEEF

JOLLOF RICE, BAKED CHICKEN AND MIXED SALAD

POUNDED YAM AND BANGA SOUP

HOME MADE BEEF BURGER, OVEN BAKED CHIPS AND KETCHUP

RICE WITH HOT PEPPER STEW, ASSORTED MEAT AND DODO

PUFF PUFF - 9JA FOODIE RECIPE

MIXED SEAFOOD, NOODLES AND OYSTER SAUCE STIRFRY

RICE WRAPPED IN PLANTAIN LEAF WITH OXTAIL STEW AND DODO

SPINACH STEW WITH PRAWNS, COLEY FISH AND POMO

PS- I meant to take more pictures but sometimes I was too hungry to get the camera LOL

Women Who Know Their Place

Apologies for my long absence .....again !  Thanks to the luvvlies who asked after me - especially Prism and Gbemi. I really appreciate this......(If I ommitted your name, I owe you lunch *smile) !

To get things started, here's an old joke I heard again today:


Women who Know Their Place:

Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan , several years before the Afghan conflict.

She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'

The woman looked Ms Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, “LAND MINES !”


LOL. I'll be back soon..... Do have a good week xoxoxoxox

Subtle Racism

It's no news that Donald Trump has questioned Obama's birth

To me, this is just an example of 'subtle racism'...Not the type that shouts out 'NIG*ER' at a passing black man, but the type that........................:

- Questions a black man's right to move into an all-white neighbourhood
- Writes petitions as soon as a black man is appointed to a senior position
- Funds private investigators to find evidence - any - of inappropriate dealings as soon as a black business man becomes successful
- Incites resistance and disobedience - among fellow workers - as soon as a black man becomes a manager in the workplace
- Smiles at the school gates but warns their children to avoid yours
- Moves to another church as soon as a black family starts attending the same church.........................

Yes indeed, make no mistake - This is racism.

Trump questioned Obama's birthplace - now he questions his school grades. I wonder why he doesn't just come out and say 'I do not think a black man is fit to be president.'  ? At least, we would all know exactly where he stands.

If Trump the Chump was not such a pathetic figure, I would be sad. However, I find him - along with most racists - comical !

Whenever my sons have told me about a racist comment/ encounter; I have always told them that the best way to overcome such comments is to do better than the racists. The best way to silence your critics is to outperform them. Score higher, Be smarter, Be more confident......Be Strong !

Obama is a living example of this.

Please watch his response to Trump:

or  if you cant access the video, click HERE !

Classic ! Never get mad - get EVEN
 xoxoxoxoxo


PS - Obama confirmed today (2nd May 2011) that Osama bin Laden has been 'kaputed' by US Navy Seals. I wonder what Trump has to say about that.....mmmm !