Thursday, 18 August 2011

Super-Heroes OR Super-Zeroes (1)

First off ...Hello my brethren. Area hail oh! For the Oyinbo out there - Hope all is well? LOL

Long story short, I need to share a couple of lessons learnt with you. I know I should be wise by now - but my brothers and sisters, na every day my eye dey open more (I learn every day).

My lesson learnt these past few weeks is that 'WE SHOULD CHOOSE OUR HEROES CAREFULLY'

I hereby share how this lesson hit me like a ton of bricks (Believe me, these are real - whenever you see my hubby, ask him)

Example 1:
 My very good friend has a couple she has always admired. 

This couple - I shall call them Mr and Mrs Miracle - have been childless for over 14 years of marriage. However, the man remained very loving and supportive towards the woman. While the woman insisted that they go for IVF or adopt, the man insisted that he was not ready to pursue IVF or adopt - he was ready to 'wait on the Lord'. My friend always used the couple as an example of rare love among Nigerian couples. 

Anyway, in 2009, the woman fell pregnant. Praise God abi?.............Humph! Long story short is that she had a beautiful girl and they celebrated like it was the second coming of Christ. Aso-ebi, goat meat, owambe, gold, platinum, rice, amala, Chinese buffet etc etc. Nothing was too much.

Early this year, the child fell ill and they had to do several diagnostic blood tests...............I bet you can see where this is going....Well, you are right. The doctor called them both to one side and told them that the child was not the man's...................and also not the woman's !  He then asked if the child was adopted. Humph. My reliable 'informant' told me that Mr Miracle fainted at this point.

Where did the child come from? Mrs Miracle later confessed that desperation made her secretly pursue IVF. She paid privately to have IVF treatment (where donated egg and sperm are fertilised and implanted back in the womb) Story don start (the story begins) !

Following this confession, Mr Miracle insisted they get a divorce. It was then Mrs Miracle got her friends and family to plead with her husband.. He still refused. When she approached one of her friends to go and plead with her hubby, the friend refused. Mrs Miracle asked why - and the friend then told her that most people knew that Mr Miracle had a 7 year old son with another lady in London. When Mrs miracle confronted Mr Miracle, he didnt deny -  he re-affirmed that he was ready to divorce because as he put it 'His real family needs him.' Story don finish (End of story) !

Summary - They are both getting a divorce and they are now fighting over their shared assets. Mrs Miracle is now mad because the bulk of the assets was built up by her (she always earned more). My friend is in shock - because she always used to tell her husband that Mr Miracle should be his role model.

My lesson learnt - You can NEVER know what goes on behind closed doors so never envy another couple.....Always aim to make your home your heaven/ castle. My people say - Na who wear shoe na im know where dey pain am (Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches)

I think I have written too much....................I will leave Example 2 till Sunday

Stay blessed

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  1. Ha! This story get plenty K-leg o! This is the same "Im waiting on the Lord" guy that had a 7year old son? Lol! This one you(the woman) cant even plead forgive because the man already has another interest(his son and the mother), so I cant even imagine where the wife will start from.
    And how far dat doctor sef? Why dint he tell the woman alone first, just so she handles the matter her way? LoL e b like d doctor like gist sef! hahaha!

  2. @Giagerry
    I can assure you that when my friend (reliable informant) told me the story. My mouth was open all through.
    As we speak, things are still unfolding.
    As they say - 'Shine your eye no be curse'
    Take care my sister

  3. Oh boy...... This one pass super story.

  4. @Prism:
    Trust me my sister. I don dey write Nollywood script already.
    Just goes to show that truth is stranger than fiction

  5. My God na wa o! this is a serious something! Something similar just happened in my church and the story sef get k leg!.I wish i could share this on facebook or something so that a wider reach would have access to this. na real wa!

  6. Ogaju! tori don get comma o..eya..feel for Mrs for Mr Miracle, may God forgive him. Haba! its not like the wife went out to cheat or stole the baby nowww

  7. This one na real life version of Mama Peace vs Papa Peace abi?!? lol. Hot funky mess.

    You are too right about not looking up to other people and using them as a scale of how to do things. You really never know what kind of false pretenses people put up.

  8. Wow! Can't find the words to describe how I feel. Or maybe "speechless" should do it!
    No wonder he was busy telling the woman not to bother! Mehn this one beats my comprehension though

  9. Jesus Christ of Nazareth....this is unbelievable. He even has the guts to fight her for her money.
    I am always fearful of men who love so much you can hardly believe your luck, because they are capable of hurting you in unimaginable ways.

    why didnt he just divorce her when he got the other woman pregnant?
    Anyway your right NIL we shouldnt just admire people and want to be them

  10. The man is a selfish creature.

  11. nna mehnnnn,where the real owners of the babe go dey nnna,since both of them are wrong,mke them calm down and settle their beef jor.

  12. .......humph! .....................just dunno know what to say now.......till sunday?

  13. Wonders SHALL never end.

  14. hmm. you're so right about this o. I remember once when I was admiring another couple and was always comparing myself to them, until one day the lady took me aside and gave me the gist of my life. Since that day, this has been my rule: Live your own life, you never know what others are going through behind closed doors.

    That said, I think the man betrayed the woman more than she did him. It's so unfair. Well, that goes to show that people really need to shine their eyes well. If the story didn't come out that way, it would have come out another day. Shekina

  15. :0! i was not expecting that! "Na who wear shoe na im know where dey pain am (Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches)" cant wait for Sundays post!!

  16. OMG!!!! *Singing* this is super story.....choi!!!what???? I will never envy another person again!

  17. One word, Chineke! meaning OMG! This world sha...

  18. This is not good news at all. I am not happy at all, no use gloating. Deceit in a relationship from both sides. I don't even know what to say...

  19. And after everything, she loses!

    I hate, hate, hate this! He walks away to his 'new' family and she's left to care for a child whose father is unkown???

  20. Ewoooo so much. See as cold catch me.

    That man is soo wicked. He stopped her from having IVF for all those years because he knew that he already had a child at least. Selfishness in the highest degree.

    His real family indeed!!

    Things are happening sha.

  21. a shocking story indeed. i am here for the first time and liked your blog a lot. i hope mrs.miracle finds peace and happiness. and a very good message at the end of the post...xx

  22. Dis is serious ish menh! dis one sef pass super story mehn!

  23. Ha! Chineke meeeee!!!!! Wow. I always say that you can't really know what's going on behind closed doors so there's no use envying anybody or any couple's relationship. I also don't blame the woman for taking the actions she did because the man was waiting on the lord. Afterall, they said heave helps those who helps themselves. At least try IVF, fertility drugs and all that before you start waiting on the lord.

    That man is a criminal sha!

  24. lol...i just went back to read people's comments and the last paragraph of this post since people kept saying "till sunday" and i didn't know what they were referring to. Apparently, my comment and your last paragraph said the same thing. Like minds :)

  25. kai,twisted story o,ah me sef don learn o...hian!

  26. Cheiii... see Nollywood movie o. Eyyha, I feel bad for the lady, NIL... do you know why Africans stigmatize adoption so much? I don't get it fa.

  27. YEHPARIPAPA!!!! Chineke God! Kai! SMH! Jesu Christi! Olorun Oba!

    I'm stumped!!!

    Can't wait to read the next example on Sunday!


  28. My jaw almost dropped when I read that the baby wasn't her's either...I hadn't considered the "IVF with a donor sperm option".

    You are so right...we should never envy other people or desire to be them...for u never really know the full picture of their lives.

  29. Don't know whether to laugh or cry. But the lesson is clear....Concentrate on your home and avoid envy!

  30. The old saying 'be careful what you wish for' comes to mind. There was clearly deception from both sides but without being in that situation, who am I to judge. I think we need a change in cultural attitudes to accept that difficulties in having children can happen in a marriage and be open to other options out there including adoption.

  31. TAMUNO! CHEI! See life?

    If I am to mete out a form of punishment, I would flog the two of them! The woman would get 6 lashes while the man would get 12!
    I would give the woman 6 because she acted out of desperation WITHOUT her husband's approval! The man would get 12 lashes (and maybe some jara) because he was living a "wayo" (deceitful) life! That man is mean! Family ko, family ni... shio!
    I will be back on Sunday for example 2!

    Stay blessed!

  32. NIL, how you dey? Kids keeping you busy abi? Lol. As for Mr & Mrs, I am speechless. I'll be back on Sunday.

  33. na wa oh, serious something Mr and Mrs secrets don comot for cupboard. Role models should be chosen wisely inded

  34. @Beautiful
    Something similar happened in your church???
    Please send me the story .....
    My email is

    @ Vyvyka
    Re: ' its not like the wife went out to cheat or stole the baby'
    Exactly what my friend said
    Thnks jare

    LOL @'This one na real life version of Mama Peace vs Papa Peace abi?!'
    To be honest, when I wrote that poem, I thought it was a bit far-fetched.
    I guess this story has proven me wrong
    Hope all is well

    Yup @'speechless'
    When I first heard, I was the same way. *shaking my head*
    Thanks dear

    Re: 'He even has the guts to fight her for her money' The fight is still on right now. Huge mess.

    RE: 'I am always fearful of men who love so much you can hardly believe your luck' I really dont blame you. The human mind is so difficult to understand.

    @Mrs Newlywed
    Re@ and me both. Hope all is well with you?

  35. @Sugabelly
    Re: 'The man is a selfish creature'
    Totally agree.

    Re: 'settle' Things have gone tooooo far my sister.
    Extended family don dey involved oh
    Thanks my sistah

    @Ibhade are running away again? LOL
    Hope all is well with you?

    Yes oh, wonders shall never cease oh.
    Like I said, I learn everday my sister
    Thanks my sister

    *Nodding* re: ' Live your own life, you never know what others are going through behind closed doors' Gbam

    I also agree that the man was more at fault. However, both of them are guilty of deception

  36. Miss Insomnia
    LOL @ 'i was not expecting that!'
    Na so life be oh
    Totally strange
    See you on Sunday

    @Sisi Yemmie
    LOL @*Singing* this is super story'
    e pass super story my sister.
    Ni be small ting oh
    Hope all is well

    @Myne Whitman
    Yes oh....Chineke, Osanobua etc etc
    Na only God go help us for this world oh

    Yes oh, my sister
    It is not a small ting
    Hope all is well

    Yes oh re 'Deceit in a relationship from both sides'
    That's what makes it so amazing
    I no fit shout
    Hope all is well with you

    Re: 'And after everything, she loses!;
    I dont think she has lost at all oh
    Just think what would have happened if she had listened to him and found out 10 years later - when she was too old to carry a baby - that he had a child outside.
    I feel that would be worse my sister

  37. @Mimi B
    LOL @ 'See as cold catch me'
    Believe me, when I first heard, I had to ask my friend to go over the story - slowly !!!

    True, the man was/is really wicked.
    Like you said - things are happening oh
    Thanks sis

    Thanks so much for dropping by.
    I'm glad the message came through.
    Much appreciated

    LOL re: 'Dis is serious ish menh!'
    That really made me laugh.
    Yes oh, real life is really strange.
    The things that men do.............
    How are you? Hope fine? xxxx

    @Madame Sting
    Yup re: 'you can't really know what's going on behind closed doors'
    Agree re: 'Afterall, they said heaven helps those who helps themselves'
    I just hope she finds peace

    *Nodding* re: 'That man is a criminal sha!'

    @Madame Sting
    Yes oh re: 'like minds' LOL

    I think you have described the whole story well when you used the phrase 'twisted story o;
    Thanks my dear
    Hope all is well with you

    @ 9jaFOODie
    LOL @'Nollywood movie o'
    Re: '. .............. why Africans stigmatize adoption so much?'
    I think it is because Africans place great emphasis on generational legacies......i.e. some families seem to have generation after generation who have issues with marriage, early death, bad luck, good luck, promiscuity etc
    They might fear that the adopted child comes with 'hidden issues'

  38. @Ms.Buki
    You are stumped???
    I really wish you heard this first hand oh
    Na wa oh
    Hope all is well???

    Yes oh re: 'I hadn't considered the "IVF with a donor sperm option"

    Same here. When my friend first told me, I thought the lady stole the baby oh

    Yes oh re'Concentrate on your home and avoid envy!'
    Thanks my sister

    @Naija4Life said...
    Totally agree re: 'There was clearly deception from both sides'

    Re: '............. and be open to other options out there including adoption'
    I really do think superstition is a big hindrance to Africans accepting adoption as an option

    Thanks sir

    LOL @'I would flog the two of them! The woman would get 6 lashes while the man would get 12!'
    You are not playing at all, at all oh!

    Agree re: 'That man is mean!'
    Thanks for dropping by. Hope all is well

    @ justjoxy
    My sister *throwing my hands up in the air' re: 'Kids keeping you busy abi?God helps mums oh
    Hope you are coping well also

    Yes oh re 'Mr and Mrs secrets don comot for cupboard'
    Breeze don blow, fowl yansh don open oh
    Thanks my dear

  39. May God continue to help us o... every one with his or her own species of wahala. This is some serious Nollywood

  40. @Nollywood Reinvented
    This one pass Nollywood my sister.
    Hope all is well with you

  41. Oh my days!!! *in a serious cockney accent*
    There's a saying that my gran once told me...."What covers each household is the roof" It basically implies that you will be shocked if the roof was taken off and you could get a gist of whats inside different households.

  42. I found this totally shocking! Yes, as a fiction writer, I find the character believable and could easily guess it was coming to that, but the reality of what the husband did leaves me dumbfounded.

    Honestly, as much as these realities exist, I am beginning to get 'scared'... You know when the wrong is constantly in your eye and suddenly you begin to fear that you are in danger of becoming 'one of them'. God dey.

  43. Na wa ooooooooooooo... I no go comment pass this one abeg! GOD DEY to help em own,hmmm!

  44. hmmmmmm, i read part 2 before coming to read part 1....this life sef....different strokes for different strokes.

    morale simply is "Learn to stay in your own lane!!!"

  45. Egba mi oo!! NIL come and close my jaws oo. the K leg for this tory plenty. How is it that the IVF using their own tissues didnt work but the one using other people's tissues worked? Nawa for convenient miracle?!
    Me? Suspect a man in a childless marriage who tells you all is well. He has settled himself somewhere. chikena! not in all cases admitted but most..

  46. Wow, I would say that was wickedness on the man's part, I wont blame the lady too much cause some women do crazy stuffs out of desperation in order to have at least a child. Thank God the woman did not die out of shock. this world is such an unfair place where unimaginable things keep happening every day.

  47. This is sickening, I no fit comment o,chai! This is sickening, I no fit comment o,chai!

  48. On this one; I'm not short of words but out of breath to speak them out with. I've always tried learning that. My word is; never adore the green grass of your neighbour, it might not really be as green as you thought if you would inspect it closely.

    This shared story, na wah oh.... Off to reading the sequel.

  49. You're so right! And it doesn't even need an example so extreme - it is so easy to envy other people's relationships, they don't fight as much, her boyfriend/husband is much more generous than mine, they are so loving towards each other in public but my experience has taught me that the very couple you're envying has problems you don't know about and also envies something about your relationship.

    No relationships are perfect, I guess it's up to us to work at making our relationships the very best that they can be :)

    Wise words as usual :)

  50. Wisdom filled post! your thoughts resonate with me We look up to people and state we wish to be like them when really you never really know the lives people live in full truth

  51. oh my!!! He's real family needs him! Oh my oh my oh my! what a bomber!!!

    whether or not you know what is going on behind closed doors - i have learnt never to compare your other half with any body! Build their confidence, dont trash it.

  52. Am learning... chia thank u very much.

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