Monday, 29 October 2012

Chasing Success: L. L. S. F (1)

Thanks for dropping by. 

As I mentioned in my last post, I will be sharing five lessons I have learnt so far - from people who have impacted me positively. (L.L.S.F = Lessons Learnt So Far)

The first lesson relates to a concept called 'Locus of Control' - which I will refer to as LOC in this post

What is Locus of Control?
In Psychology, Locus of Control is considered to be an important aspect of personality and refers to how an individual perceives things that happen in his/her life. It can be summarised as how a person answers this basic question:
Do you believe that your destiny is controlled by yourself or by external forces (such as fate, god, or powerful others)?
Individuals who answer 'yourself' are classed as having INTERNAL LOC ....Those who answer 'external forces' are classed as having EXTERNAL LOC: 

External Locus of Control

Individual believes that his/her behaviour is guided by fate, luck, or other external circumstances

Internal Locus of Control

Individual believes that his/her behaviour is guided by his/her personal decisions and efforts.
With regards to the short quiz in my last post - If you chose mostly a answers - you are likely to have an EXTERNAL LOC. If you chose mostly b answers, you are likely to be INTERNAL.

However,  like everything in life - people might change their answer from time to time.............but, in my experience, high achievers usually tend to possess an INTERNAL LOC most of the time - They feel that they are in charge of their destiny and their efforts can have a positive impact on their ability to achieve their goals, their dreams and their vision.

This feeling of 'being in control of one's destiny' might take a bashing from time to time and numerous influences can shape one's LOC:
- Gender: I do feel men generally tend to feel more in control of their own destiny
- Age: The older people I meet generally do feel success in life is down to the effort you put in
- Upbringing: Children who have grown in competitive household - where excellence was rewarded - might grow to appreciate the relationship between effort and reward
- Environment: Without generalising, a lot of Nigerians I know feel our Nigerian society is very much one of 'who you know' - so effort is not often rewarded
- Religion / Beliefs: From experience, a lot of deeply religious people I encounter forget that prayer without deeds is futile. If one keeps on attributing every event to luck or fate, the person is likely to feel powerless in his/her own life

I must also warn that we should not take a simplistic view - that being having an EXTERNAL LOC is bad .................OR...........having INTERNAL is good. This is because INTERNALS can be great worriers as they try to control everything..........Also, EXTERNALS can be very easy going as they attribute events and experiences to 'luck' or 'fate'

However, one lesson I have learnt from people I admire is that - if we want to achieve success in life - we must recognise instances where we hand over control over our lives to others........ That is why I think we should all be aware of our LOC as it can highlight attitudes we need to change/ modify.

Q: How has this knowledge helped me?............A: To make better choices :
- If I spot an opportunity, it is up to me to pursue it. I am responsible for my own progress
- If something bad happens around me, I have the option of learning from it or letting the event defeat me. I have a choice
- If something good happens to me, I have the option of putting it down to luck or identifying what I did to facilitate that event. If I was instrumental to this event/ experience....I can repeat it
- If something I have been doing is not working. ............Why am I carrying on? I have a choice to stop it
- If something I am doing is successful........... Why cant I extend that success to other parts of my life. I have the choice.
- If I am confused and unsure of a path to follow (personally or professionally), I do as much research as possible i.e. speak to more experienced people; Pray and make a decison. I have the faith and confidence to explore any option that might see me excel in life.

If you are interested in taking the full LOC test - so you can understand where you stand -  please go here

In the meantime, do let me know if I make sense.  Your comments are always welcome.

I'll be back on the 8th of November. God bless.

Saturday, 27 October 2012

Chasing Success - L. L. S. F

I enjoy meeting interesting people who have managed to achieved success in life. 'Success in life' doesn't only have to be in terms of financial success....... Success can be with regards to being able to impact positively on others...............Being able to raise happy, healthy, productive children or................... even being able to correct a wrong within the community they live.

When I meet such people, I always try and learn  from them as one must always seek to improve and grow.

As we approach the end of the year, I would like to share with you 5 key things I have learnt from some successful people I have come across.  I believe it is a grave sin when one allows someone else make a mistake ....when one could have prevented it. So, I am hoping that someone somewhere will benefit from my rambling thoughts and words. 

The title of this series is 'Chasing Success' (because I am yet to meet a human being who doesn't want to be successful in at least one aspect of life). The acronym 'L. L. S. F' stands for 'Lessons Learnt So Far'  *cheeky smile*

I intend posting my 5 LLSFs on the following dates: 29th October; 8th November; 18th November; 26th November and 5th December. I hope that's okay...................In the meantime, please look at the statements below and - for each -  make a note of which option you agree with the most (a or b):

1.  (a)    Many of the unhappy things in people's lives are partly due to bad luck
     (b)    People's misfortunes result from the mistakes they make.

2.  (a)  Unfortunately, an individual's worth often passes unrecognized no matter how hard he tries.
     (b) In the long run, people get the respect they deserve in this world.

3.  (a) Without the right breaks, one cannot be an effective leader.
     (b) Capable people who fail to became leaders have not taken advantage of their opportunities.

4.   (a) Many times exam questions tend to be so unrelated to course work that studying is really useless
      (b) In the case of the well prepared student, there is rarely, if ever, such a thing as an unfair test.

5.  (a) Sometimes I feel that I don't have enough control over the direction my life is taking.
     (b) What happens to me is my own doing.

I'll be back on the 29th .....................Till then *kisses and hugs*

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Thanks to all

I was just informed that I have been nominated for the Nigerian Blog Awards and I really wanted to say thank you to all who nominated me. I am honoured. A big thanks also to the organisers of the Nigerian Blog Awards. That is passion in practice. God bless you guys.

Like most bloggers, I started off spouting whatever came to my head and it was a pleasant surprise when I discovered a whole family of creatives online. Each person on my blog roll has a unique voice and I thank God that we live in a time where we all have an avenue to air our opinions. Each voice is important.

Before I go, I have to be honest and say I find it difficult to campaign because one of the other nominees - Gbemisoke - is a dear blogger-sister. So, all I will say is thanks again to whoever nominated us.

I'll be back soon

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Your Eye

The beauty of the internet is that information seems so accessible and close. Whatever you want to find out about.....type it in...and more than likely, you will get some information.

However, like everything that seems so easy, there can be a downside.

Over the past few months, I have seen bloggers post some very disturbing pictures and videos on their sites. I wont mention the issues they have touched on but the most recent pertains to the Uniport students - referred to as 'Aluu 4'. While I commend some for drawing our attention to certain hitherto 'hidden' issues...I do question the motive behind some bloggers' decision to post really gruesome, disturbing material.

Even more so, I question some readers/ viewers' motives when they view such material:
- Is the reader viewing it motivated by voyeuristic* tendencies ?
- Is the reader viewing it to spear-head a campaign that will aim to right whatever wrong has been committed ?
- Is the reader viewing it to be titillated* ?
- Is the reader viewing it to gain knowledge about something new ?

Whatever the reason is, I suggest we remember this:

 34 Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body also is full of darkness. 35 See to it, then, that the light within you is not darkness. (Luke 11:34-35)

Research has shown that there is a strong link between porn and child abuse. This is no surprise as images can distort people's view of what is acceptable or unacceptable behaviour.

Whether we like it or not, the more we view violent, dehumanising and abhorrent material.....The more we begin to think this is the norm. The first time I watched a video of a Python swallow another animal on Youtube...I screamed.....Now....I yawn and go...'Next video please...!'

As users of social media, I believe we have a duty to think before we post and think even harder before we repost. We are not sheep.

*Voyeurism is the sexual interest in or practice of spying on people engaged in intimate behaviors, such as undressing, sexual activity, or other actions usually considered to be of a private nature.[1]

*Titilated is to Stimulate or excite (someone), esp. in a sexual way.