Monday, 2 January 2012

Beware The Poisoned Chalice..............................

''Poisoned Chalice" is a thing or situation which appears to be good when it is received or experienced by someone, but then becomes or is found to be bad. ...............


I was helping my son with his homework sometime ago and I came across the image below:


Source: www.goodcleanhumor.net
I was fascinated that such a graceful, beautiful animal would have to drink in such an awkward, clumsy way.


Seeking more facts about Giraffes and their unusual drinking position, this is what I read:
'Giraffes use their height to good advantage and browse on leaves and buds in treetops that few other animals can reach....................
The giraffe's height also helps it to keep a sharp lookout for predators across the wide expanse of the African savanna.
The giraffe's stature can be a disadvantage as well—it is difficult and dangerous for a giraffe to drink at a water hole. To do so they must spread their legs and bend down in an awkward position that makes them vulnerable to predators like Africa's big cats'
This got me thinking of how each of us possesses exceptional assets that can also contribute to our downfall. The trick in life is recognising your asset - and staying alert - so that this asset does not become a Poisoned Chalice.


Here are some examples of assets that could become Poisoned Chalice:
- Beauty: 
I have seen instances where beautiful people think they can get away with anything because of their physical perfection. Examples abound of girls who thought their beauty was enough to get by....and boys who were so gorgeous in school.... they ceased to work hard. 
All I can say is that Bill Gates, Richard Branson etc could not have been the most beautiful people in school. There is a saying that 'Beauty fades but Dumb is Forever'......Enough said


- Intelligence: 
Psychologists identify seven to nine types of intelligence....including verbal, visual, physical, introspective, interpersonal, musical etc etc...................I like to keep things simple so I have just two - 'Common Sense Intelligence' and 'Book Sense Intelligence'
Unfortunately, a lot of us focus on pursuing 'book sense' without remembering that 'common sense' is often more important. 'Common Sense' is the type of sense that tells you - 'To buy only what you can afford'.....'To avoid certain people'.........'To avoid gossip'...........'To avoid borrowing'............'To never underestimate anyone' ............etc etc
The thing is people who have 'Book Sense Intelligence' often have very little 'Common Sense Intelligence' because they feel they know it all. 
If you ever feel you know it all - because you have a Masters Degree or a P.hD......believe me, you dont !


- Children:
 Parents often see their children as their greatest assets.......unfortunately, some parents devote less time to nurturing these assets than they do to reviewing their bank statements. 
The problem with this is that these assets have a funny way of becoming liabilities - if you fail to invest time and energy on their upbringing. We can NEVER predict what a child will become in future......BUT we can predict - to a large extent - what a neglected/ badly brought up child is LIKELY to become in future:............A Poisoned Chalice to his/her parents !


- Wealth: 
We all pray for financial security and we should. However, wealth comes with its own burden. Questions arise: 'How do I stay on top?'............'Who are my real friends?'............'Will my children squander their inheritance?'.............'Will my spouse still love me if I lose all my wealth?'
The only way a wealthy person can find answers to such questions is to lose all the wealth and see what it is like to be poor...This is not a palatable option.
So..........while we pray for wealth, we should all pray for the wisdom to handle such wealth so that it does not become a burden that weighs us down.


- Friends: 
Some people have a natural ability to attract people and make friends. The trick is to know when to stop making friends just for the sake of making friends..................AND...............to recognise which people are friends or acquaintances. 
Good friends are an asset......but bad friends can be serious liabilities. Unfortunately, a lot of people seem to think their friends have their best interest at heart. 
When I was at university, I knew several girls who couldn't make a single decision without discussing it with their 'closest friends'. Wrong move....
A nice boy is asking them out?.....They seek their friend's opinion.
They hate their course and want to change?........They seek their friend's opinion.
They have a job offer out of state/ abroad?.......They seek their friends opinion.
A potential sugar-daddy is bothering them?..........etc etc..............*sigh*  If you need impartial advice, ask someone older who is a role model 
The truth is humans are instinctively selfish and 'friends' will usually put their own interest first. A friend can become a poisoned chalice if you let them. 


- Strong Family Ties
A strong family bond can be a blessing ....but it can also be a 'Poisoned Chalice'. Examples abound of people who were very close to their siblings before they got married and expected that bond to remain unbroken after they got married or entered into a serious relationship.
Whether we like it or not, we change when we become involved - romantically - with someone else. 
A man who chooses to discuss his finances with his siblings and not the mother of his children/wife/ partner is creating the right environment for chaos. 
Similarly, a woman who chooses to discuss her career, fears or life plans with her siblings - and not her husband/ partner; is clearing the ground for confusion to reign.
Similarly, a person who makes ALL his/her decisions to please his/her family members is likely to regret this.
There comes a time when your life partner should be your confidant and 'next of kin' in everything. If this is not the case, you are with the wrong person !  

- Well Known Name
Some surnames are so well known that once the name is mentioned, doors and arms open wide to recieve the bearer of the name.
This can be an asset or a liability.............depending on how the bearer handles it.
I know of children of famous parents who have failed to make their mark because they feel 'daddy' or 'mummy' has done it all. 
Similarly, I know of children of famous parents who have excelled because their famous parents have paved the way for them.
The difference between these achieving and non-achieving bearers-of-well-known names is largely down to upbringing and how much they themselves hunger to make their own mark 
As my father would say.........'Some children are taught how to SPEND money and not how to MAKE money ! 
Bearing a well known name is incredibly empowering and and can be a good thing..................but it can also be a 'Poisoned Chalice' ...............if the bearer is not equipped to ensure the 'well-known' name does not become well known for laziness, bad manners and notoriety.


So,
As we enter into 2012, my prayer for all - including me - is that we recognise our assets and work against them turning into liabilities. Not everyone has the power to see what asset is a potential 'Poisoned Chalice' - so we should all guard against complacency.


Stay blessed ...................I'll see you soon
xxxxx

64 comments:

  1. thank you so much for this post, it was well said and written, I like how you used the concept of giraffes drinking water to explain it. I have experienced a few of instances you gave and I continue to work on them.
    happy new year!
    http://ironyofashi.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your comment. Happy New Year
      xxxxxxxxxx and God bless!

      Delete
  2. Wow...Nice one!

    Happy new year to you and your family!

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  3. So true, and we often overlook some instances, like the one of children. SMH...

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    Replies
    1. Agree Myne,
      Badly brought up kids are a real liability
      xxx

      Delete
  4. Deep and classic NIL!

    I'm reading a paragraph per week so i cant really comment now...shebi its one post per month?..let's make it last na lol

    The difference between these achieving and non-achieving bearers-of-well-known names is largely down to upbringing and how much they themselves hunger to make their own mark'

    That is soo on point. Can also be applied in reverse. the poor guy that struggles and rises above his poverty and the one that rolls in the mud and curses. Your attitude determines altitude!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'Your attitude determines your altitude'
      I love that
      xxx

      Delete
  5. Poisoned Chalice.... such a good one to start the year

    Very deep lessons to last me till next month, thanks for sharing...

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  6. Aww so in time! Thanks for sharing!
    Have a very rewarding 2012 too

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  7. Yeah, she is back with a bang! I never wanted the post to end.

    My favourites are beauty and well-known name. When I graduated, it was ironic to find out that the beautiful people weren't the ones marrying fast. In fact, the 'ordinary' people seemd to marry faster than the rest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Ilola
      I agree with your comment regarding 'beautiful people' and marriage .................so true

      Delete
  8. Well said NIL.... excellent examples.

    ReplyDelete
  9. An insightful post to kick off the new year. A Happy New year to you. I'm thinking poisoned chalices also come in the shape of vices we indulge and sometimes they are hobbies that appear harmless but become harmful when they take too much of our time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agree

      Re: hobbies.........blogging would fall into that category abi?

      :)))

      Delete
  10. poisoned chalice, wow another feather to my wisdom cap.

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    Replies
    1. LOL.............Knowing you, that cap should be filled with feathers now :)))
      xxxx

      Delete
  11. @NIL, What a way to usher in a new year with what I consider a philosophical post with deep-rooted meanings and truths.

    I couldn't really pickout the one that stood out for me because they all touched me in many ways.

    Out of interest, does your job involve some sort of counselling or psychology? Your writings seem to suggest to me it could be a possibility.

    Anyway thanks for the wise counsel and happy new year again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy New Year
      Hope all is well with you?
      xxx

      RE: My job.....Yes on both counts :)))

      Delete
  12. Can you blame us for missing you so much???

    Thanks for these words of wisdom! And thanks for the heads up for the year ahead.

    Now we have to wait another how many weeks for another post? Man!

    Stay blessed NIL. xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awwwwwww...........
      Thanks so much

      Abeg wait oh....I am drowning in an ocean of commitments
      LOL

      Delete
  13. such a powerful post, thank you! i will be sharing

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Splenda
      Glad you found it interesting
      xxxx
      Hope all is well with you

      Delete
  14. Amen and amen to your prayer. very insightful post, lots of lessons to learn. thanks and a blessed new year to you and the family.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks dearie
      I hope all is well with you?
      God be with you dear

      Delete
  15. Replies
    1. Thanks Dammy
      Hope you had some rest over the Christmas break
      Stay blessed
      xxxx

      Delete
  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  17. So fascinating revelation. i really love reading them. hoping to read more. 2012 is yours, go for it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Docia
      I will def be checking your blog also
      xxxx

      Delete
  18. This is what I am talking about.

    I particularly liked the one about children as some parents neglect the human beings in their home in preference of the human beings in their workplace.

    I say thank you a trillion times, Naijamum. Thank you.


    Eh ... well... eh...pleeeeeeeeease can you consider twice a month, I beg you. You know the more you share, the more God blesses you. Also it serves as a sort of meditation and therapy. Also, when you share/teach what you know, psychologically, there is room to receive more. Please consider us, God neva forgets those who encourage others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @ANON
      I am always thrilled to meet an anon who leaves such gracious comments.

      Thank you too

      2ce a month?? I really do wish I could....Here's the deal: Drop me an email at dwonderkid@gmail.com and we'll see :)))))

      Delete
  19. That point about knowing what your name can do for you is so important. I also like the phrase 'Beauty fades but Dumb is forever"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks PET
      How are you my sistah?
      Hope all is well
      xxxx

      Delete
  20. Replies
    1. Thanks so much
      How are you and your cute self?
      xxxx

      Delete
  21. You just gave me a new word/phrase to add to my vocabulary. Glad I could learn from this.

    Have a great 2012!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Stelzz
      Hope you are well
      Stay blessed all through 2012
      xxxx

      Delete
  22. Very simply put yet with so much truth in it. They're so pertinent to the many issues we face. Thanks NIL,...you never dissapoint.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear sir,
      Thanks for your lovely comment
      hope all is well with you?
      xxx

      Delete
  23. enjoyed reading this..

    the flip side is also knowing how to manage our weaknesses...

    random example- the person that knows she isn't "beautiful" according to the world learns how to do "eto" (hospitability) perfectly and lands herself a man... as they say olobe l'oko (the person that can cook owns the husband- literal translation)

    happy new year...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like 'knowing how you manage your weakness'
      True talk!!!

      I also love your example because it is so true. Do the best with what you have

      Thanks dearie
      xxx

      Delete
  24. Hi N.I.L,

    I would like to make a humble request.

    BTW, the malware warning on my blog is false. Nothing will happen to your computer or phone. I tested the malware warning, so I know. The false warning is an attempt by some 'agents' to stop a blogging campaign that I initiated two days ago. I'm running a campaign - not sure if it's your thing but if you'd like to be involved, that would be great.

    I hope you can take part in the bloggers' campaign against the removal of the fuel subsidy. It would be appreciated. Please also circulate to other bloggers to get involved. This is how to take part:

    I am asking all Nigerian bloggers and other interested parties to join me in a Nigerian Bloggers Protest for a week. To join the protest:

    1. Do a post of your own on your blog using the title "GEJ Presidential Palace Subsidy Must End: Nigerian Bloggers' Protest"

    2. Add 9jaFooDie's pic/tabled diagram (on her current post) in your post

    3. Publish your post

    4. Please allow for seven days on your blog or place the post in a prime position on your blog for seven days.

    5. Bloggers and Non-bloggers: share on facebook, twitter and other relevant social media.

    Madame Sting, 9jaFoodie and myself have started off the campaign with our respective posts. We hope you can join us!

    May we reap the benefits of our civil efforts in the prosperity of our country Nigeria, in the very near future - That it would become a country that we are proud of, for future generations to come.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apologies that I missed this message
      I am a self-imposed blog-controlled diet

      I will blog on this issue............thereby breaking my once a month rule :)))

      Delete
  25. YAY N.I.L you are back...Happy New year dear hope the family are doing well

    Thanks for this post really insightful cause i can say i've been a victim of some of these

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe we have all been guilty of these - at different times!

      Thanks dearie
      xxxx

      Delete
  26. On point and a wonderful way to start the year. Happy New Year Naijamum. Is it once in a month now?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks
      Yes oh..............once a month .........FOR NOW!!! :)))

      Stay blessed

      Delete
  27. Happy new year my dear sistha :D

    Another classic you have written...*clapping*

    take care and God blessings to your entire family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ibhade! Ibhade! Ibhade!

      I see you oh.....I miss you oh! Where you dey hide?

      Thanks for dropping by. God bless you oh!

      xxxx

      Delete
    2. YAY....... IBHADE... WHAT A MIRACLE..... nice to see ur response ohh.....

      I am sure I made a comment last I came here but seems I cant find it...

      oh well.

      I have not seen ur visit in a while @ 9ja Mum..(Sad face).

      Delete
  28. Happy new year dear, you're truly a naija mum!

    May God grant us all the wisdom to make the right decisions this year

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    Replies
    1. Happy New Year! Great thought provoking post. 'Children can be a liability if you fail to invest time and energy in their upbringing'. So true - I see it all the time.

      I pray God gives us the grace to wise with our choices this coming year.

      Delete
    2. Thanks Dosh
      Amen to your prayer oh
      Stay blessed
      xxxx

      Delete
    3. Hello Chichi
      Hope all is well with you

      Amen to your prayer. I see examples of these too. Sad
      xxx

      Delete
  29. Hello Naija M.I.L! Happy New year to you and your family! This is to let you know i have nominated you for the liebster blog award and you can check my page to accept it. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks dearie
      Happy New Year to you too
      I'll def drop by your blog
      xxxx

      Delete
  30. Food for thought. i would never have seen it in this light. thanks. have a blessed year

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for commenting
      I hope you have been having a good time
      Take care of yourself
      xxxx

      Delete
  31. welcome back naija mum! I now know why i missed you! amazing read!!! Welcome back again :) loved the analogy of the poison chalice.. and all your examples. thanks

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  32. I just stumbled on your blog and loved reading this post!

    ReplyDelete

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