Thursday, 8 November 2012

Chasing Success: L. L. S. F (2)

Thanks for dropping by

In continuing the L. L.S. F series,  (L.L.S.F = Lessons Learnt So Far) I will be touching on my second lesson learnt today. Before I do so, I would like to share two scenarios with you:

Scenario 1:
Yemi was an assistant store manager in a London based fashion store. She liked her job as it involved fashion, meeting new people and talking to people - her favourite things in the world. 

However, recently, she had begun to hate going into work because her new manager - H - was making work a nightmare. Whatever she did was never enough. Even worse, colleagues have come up to her to tell her the new manager was spreading negative feedback about her work - painting her as an inefficient, incompetent worker. Yemi's branch was often visited by Head Office representatives and she noticed H was quite friendly with most of them. This made her take a back seat whenever they came into the branch because she felt every snigger.....every whisper mocked her. 

Yemi didn't know where to turn and everyday she went into work she felt a part of her was dying. She didn't even feel she had the energy to look for a new job as she was dealing with an unemployed husband, a sick mother and two young children. As she walked into work on Monday 3rd September, she felt so drained because she had had a weekend of rows with her husband; dealt with a sickly child and had very little sleep. As she sat down that morning in the office to print out last week's performance reports, she felt totally exhausted. At that moment, H entered the small office and started to whinge about something Yemi forgot to do. Yemi says she cant remeber what happened .................but something in her snapped and the next thing she knew, she was shouting in H's face and threatening to beat her up. Needless to say, Yemi lost her job..............

Scenario 2: 
Like Yemi, Marion had loved her job - till the branch manager-from-hell took over. Again, like Yemi, Marion had a lot to deal with outside work........her husband was always away in Nigeria, her teenage son was acting up; her daughter's schoolwork was suffering and her parents were always calling from Nigeria to remind her that she was not supporting them enough. 

Again like Yemi, she was becoming increasingly reluctant to go to work as she felt the new branch manager - V - was constantly undermining her and making her look inefficient.  Whenever the Area Manager came around, she noticed V was eager to impress him. That meant a lot of running around and trying to make the branch perfect. 

One day, the Area Manager dropped by in V's absence.........for a surprise visit. Marion seized this opportunity to have a chat with him. She avoided saying negative things about V and told the Area Manager all her ideas for improving the branch's performance. She also told the Area Manager what customers were requesting ...........and suggested she put together a formal document suggesting how sales could be improved. The Area Manager was very receptive to the idea and said he'd get back to her.

Marion didn't hear from him for some time.....until she was contacted and invited to Head Office to deliver a presentation to senior officials................That was how her career took off. 

These two stories come from two real life experiences and serve to illustrate my second L.L.S.F. This lesson is a simple equation:              E + R = O (Event + Reaction = OUTCOME)

This equation was passed on to me by a seriously impressive man I met sometime ago and it applies to so many aspects of life. 

We are all faced by different life-changing Events in Life.............and our Reactions determine the Outcome following these events:

- Betrayed by a Husband/Wife ? : Various reactions range from hating all men/women; Becoming extremely Promiscous or Continously seeking love in all the wrong places etc etc 
- Lost A Job ? : Various Reactions range from Securing any jobs to pay bills etc etc
- Abused as a Child ? : Various Reactions range from Feeling Self Hating Continously seeking love in al, the wrong places etc etc
- Failed To Get Admission to study your preferred Course ?: Various reactions range from Choosing another Taking a year out to retake the Avoiding University altogether etc etc 

All these choices, All these options ...............but each reaction will lead to a different Outcome.

I pray we all have the wisdom to be patient - and composed - enough to react appropriately, so we always achieve the best outcomes ....Always. 

I'll be back on November 18th. Till then, God bless you all

PS - Please forgive my delay in replying to comments. I will do so soon. I just like to take my time and read through properly *mwah*


  1. Major lesson I have just learnt here right now is that "each reaction will lead to a different outcome"
    Patience is the word! Thank you. btw 18th is a looong time.

  2. Sounds pathetic, but its a human institution so she needs divine patience. Anyway, you've educated me. Thanks

  3. Our lives are shaped by our decisions. What we do with the curve that life throws at us is what matters. Gorrit :)

  4. AMEN!
    Sometimes our reactions take the better part of us...sighs.

  5. Amen to your Prayers Naijamum. still taking my notes!

    I believe you and the family are doing great, yes? Blessings and more to you and yours.

  6. Another great post, this took me back to schooling in all girls and moving abroad as a teen. All the backhand gossips and little chit chats, I told myself when I was 19 or so that “What people say about me is their business and completely in their control, how I chose to react is my business and completely in my control” my outlook on life changed from that moment onward.

  7. I am learning a lot with from these series. E + R = O.
    I need to be in control of my reactions to certain events.

  8. So so soooo true, I remember talking about something slightly similar (at least, as pertains to the reactions to child abuse) on my review for 'distance between'. IN as much as we might not have control over the events, we definitely have control over our reactions.

    It makes it easier to deal with when you take a moment to step out of it and realize that people have and are still going through worse situations than yours

  9. Big lesson indeed, and one I keep close too. All the best in the time off.

  10. Very true..Life is a matter of choice, your life is shaped by the choices you make..what works for other doesnt always work for you. I see it in the workplace all the time

  11. Uhmmmmm, serious lesson o... I for one a lot of times allow people's actions and inactions get to me and thus shape my reactions. Till my sister sent me a strongly worded mail on taking control of my reactions even when others act up.

    Oro nla

  12. @
    ''All these choices, All these options ...............but each reaction will lead to a different Outcome''-hmm, so true. My prayer is that, God grants me the wisdom to tow the correct line for every situation I'm faced with, as the right response will result in a positive result. Great one, NIL. Thanks for this series.

  13. Amen!!

    I wished i learned this earlier and not the hard way but hopes not lost. Thanks for the reminder

  14. Ah great post, i love that equation. Choices definitely one thing that we deal with daily and will always continue to deal with. Now it is up to us to think before making certain/all choices because it will clearly shapes our lives like i've heard over and over again "Your choices, your destiny"

  15. Amen! Thanks NIL.
    Hope you have a great weekend.

  16. This is indeed an eye opener. God bless you NIL

  17. Very powerful equation. The R part can make or break the Outcome. I'll probably print out copies to put on my wall. Thanks for this post!

  18. So true. Our reactions go a long way in detrmining outcomes in a matter.

  19. I took time to read this post and it goes to show that different approach to situations in your life could make or destry you.
    Nice one..

  20. So in the end, the choice is still in our hands. Thanks

  21. Very interesting I really think you have hit the nail on the head. Hello Ladies,

    2 hours ago, I was approached by a Channel 4 TV producer about ‘The Real Nigerian Housewives of the United Kingdom’ who is currently developing a parenting series and wants to hear from mum’s who would be happy to talk about parenting. This successful producer is looking for larger than life personalities with strong opinions.

    She is looking for inspiring mums who have a clear and definable view on parenting and believe this works well for them. You should be a strong character who is proud of your style of parenting and believe others could learn from you. You should have two or more children.

    I think this would be a very interesting watch and I know our Nigerian mothers have a lot to offer society. If you are interested please let me know. I have not discussed payment with her but the exposure is phenomenal and can go some way to improving our image becoming respected for our parenting skills.

    Please join the group if one or more of these comments apply to you. Even if you are not interested please join anyway as I know you would be a great contributor to the blog. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

    Kind Regards


  22. A good example of 'attitude determines altitude.'

  23. How we handle situations which we are faced with in life determines our growth and the heights we will reach. This is a good advise N. I. L. Points noted! Thank you!

  24. So glad I found your blog. E + R = O. Got it!

  25. another good blog.. it can be hard sometimes.. especially at work. But like you said.. I pray God give us the grace to be patient..but it isn't easy.. but event + reaction = outcome! lol

    I remember feeling like crap at work for pretty much the last 3 months or more. I decided it wsa time to stop feeling soorry for msyelf and speak to my line manager to move me to another office.. where iw ould be of more use. Long story short.. they don't want me to go and they would try to make this place better for me. If i said nothing and kept feeling sorry for myself.. i would still be feeling miserable.

  26. I totally agree that E + R = O. But then again, I also don't think its that black and white. Using the examples, Yemi and Marion I would like to believe that its not necessarily the end to Yemi's story. Maybe she has a talent which she has been too timid to explore. Maybe this sack is the push she needs to follow her heart. So I think life is a a continuous flow of events and reactions and choices. Wrongreactions can lead to dreams delayed or deferred but if you persevere it will surely come to pass.

    Thanks for sharing o wise one . There's always something to learn here.

    1. I agree with Ginger's view. Life is a continuous flow of events and reactions and choices. Thanks for this material.

  27. Took me a minute to get here and continue the series,but am here.
    And something has stuck E+R=O. Its not like its new,but like a refresher course that's needed for me at this moment. Ŧђɑ̤̥̈̊п̥̥̲̣̣̣kƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇ for sharing.

  28. Big lesson learnt here. Our reaction matters a lot to what the outcome would eventually be. May God give us the patience to endure and react appropriately when it's most needed.

  29. Finally the results all boils down to our Individual choices

  30. This post is so in line with my views and would love to see more of this

  31. ery much as I enjoyed reading what you had to say, I couldnt help but lose interest after a while. Its as if you had a good grasp to the topic matter, but you forgot to include your readers. Perhaps you should think about this from far more than 1 angle. Or maybe you shouldnt generalise so significantly. Its better if you think about what others may have to say instead of just going for a gut reaction to the topic. Think about adjusting your personal thought process and giving others who may read this the benefit of the doubt.
    That is some pretty fascinating ideas, but Ive got a question for you. I have a Wordpress site, however my design is rather boring. Yours looks genuinely great though and I am wondering if it is a premium theme? Im just contemplating acquiring one, but I genuinely like yours. Cheers!
    As a contractor, I address some of these issues are a regular basis thanks for making sense!
    these days. thesshopbymark


I always look forward to reading comments from visitors - so please leave yours. Many thanks for dropping by....xoxoxox