Saturday, 8 December 2012

Chasing Success: L. L. S. F (5)

Thanks to all of you who keep on visiting here. You motivate me to write ..........even when all I want to do is eat, read blogs and sleep. LOL ................God bless you all

In concluding this series, I will go straight to my fifth L.L.S.F (Lessons Learnt So Far). This one is fairly simple: 'KNOW THYSELF - SELF REFLECTION IS A BLESSING'

This is not an easy task. Indeed, it has been said that 'The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself' (Thales, ca. 624 BC–ca. 546 BC). However, if one is able to do this, it makes so many things in life clearer and dare I say it............a bit easier. 

When I say 'know thyself, I refer to knowing who you are including....
- What your family background holds:
All families have secrets and all families have flaws. However, a person can only know his/ her make up if s/he understands more about his/her family. Some people talk about 'generational curse' and how it holds people back. However, I believe more in 'generational stupidity' - when family members repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

Personally, I come from a long line of stubborn, determined women. This can be a good thing or a bad thing...............depending on the circumstances. However, since I know I have this trait, I try to use it to my benefit and avoid situations where this 'stubbornness' can put people off. Knowing your 'family background' does not only relate to common traits and behaviours we share with family members, it can also relate to health related issues. For example if one comes from a family with a history of high blood pressure/ strokes......... it is unwise to drink heavily, eat fatty foods or ignore one's weight.

- What your Weaknesses are:
We all have bad habits and sometimes we can ignore them because they don't hinder us in any way. However, when such weaknesses hold us back, it is imperative we sit up and take notice.

For example, I know a very intelligent man who is great at generating ideas but lacks the determination to follow through these ideas. Similarly, I know a very intelligent young lady who puts people off with her 'I-know-it-all attitude'. While she has 'book intelligence'; she lacks the common sense to realise that others who might not have her academic qualifications might know more than she does................. Again, I know a lady who seems to lurch from one abusive relationship to another. When a pattern is being repeated, it is time to look inwards.

- What your Strengths are:
Yes, it might seem crazy to say one does not know his/her strengths but I challenge YOU to highlight your 5 key strengths.....What 5 things set you apart from others???? This is not easy for everyone. However, it is important to know your strengths because this knowledge is (a) comforting in times of self-doubt; and  (b) empowering in times you are challenged.

- What your Limits are:
This is a difficult one because it takes time and maturity for most pf us to realise/ accept our limits. However, I have found that knowing my limits has been key to keeping my sanity.......When to say NO......When to BACK OFF..........When to accept DEFEAT........When to accept SOMEONE will never change............When to accept you cant change OTHERS

I once knew a successful business man who was always being approached by people with one business idea or another. Ninety nine percent of the time, he ignored these people who approached him. When I asked him how he knew which business to invest in and which to avoid, his reply was 'I
 stick to what I know' Simple !!!  

So, 'Know Thyself'.....Where does one start?????
One of the best tools I have seen used for self reflection is the personal SWOT....which stands for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. When it comes to a personal SWOT, an individual has to answer these questions:
- What are my Strengths?
- What are my Weaknesses?
- What Opportunities exist out there for me to use my strengths ?
- What Threats exist out there that will highlight my weaknesses and cause me to fail/ not achieve my full potential?

I strongly recommend a personal SWOT to all jobseekers and those caught at crossroads (between mutiple choices - of jobs, careers, partners, locations etc) Seriously, it has helped me make some really difficult decisions - especially where I had to consider my strenghts and weaknesses against external factors/ people/ situations I have no control over. If you are interested in carrying out a personal SWOT analysis, do visit here

Before I leave you all, I would like to recap my five lessons learnt:
(1) Knowing one's Locus of Control is important in understanding who/what you allow to shape your destiny
(2) Event + Reaction = Outcome
(3) Recognise your millstones and act accordingly
(4) Be aware of your Personal Brand and how your potray yourself
(5) Know Thyself - Self Reflection is a Blessing.

All I have shared can be summarised in this saying: 'In order to change unwanted habits and actions, it is important to take the time to get to know yourself'  (Darren L. Johnson)

I hope I have made sense. Many thanks for coming back again and again.

May God bless you all


  1. yayh, been refreshing this page since 6pm...was worth the wait

  2. Lol @ generational stupidity.

    Thanks for the series, really learnt a lot.

    1. I laughed at generational stupidity too. LOL!!

      Man know thyself. I think that was Socrates. Thanks a lot NIL.


  3. Great and information-packed series. Love the links too.

  4. Great and information-packed series. Love the links too.

  5. God bless you real good for sharing these insighting posts.

  6. I love your wisdom ma'am *hugs*

  7. Thank you so much for the series. Learned a thing or two from it. Have a great week.

  8. Thank you for sharing from your wealth of wisdom. I learnt a lot from the series

  9. Well done on the series. Compliments of the season to you and your family.

  10. Hi Naijamum, lol @ book intelligence and common sense. Thanks for this wisdom packed piece.

  11. There is so much wisdom in this post. Thank you

  12. When I read your posts, I feel like I've come for therapy :-) you remind of things I've often forgotten about but that helped me along in life, will miss the series! Thank you!

  13. Very reasonable and inspiring post..

    Nice blog

  14. This series is a godsend. Thank you.

  15. God bless you NIL. Your time was well invested in adding to my life. Thanks again!

  16. Just read up the series.

    Good job ma'am. Thanks for taking time to share

  17. Very educative series. Thanks for adding to our tanks of knowledge. Compliments of the season to you and yours. God bless you.

  18. Wishing you a merry Christmas and happy new year.
    The Lord's blessing be upon you as we walk into 2013.

  19. Very, very helpful tips, thanks!

  20. Happy new year...hope you and the family enjoyed the holiday.

  21. Perfect conclusion to the series. Thank you for sharing and blessing.

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