(2)Elders are always right
I first challenged this belief here and I still believe this is one of the reasons Nigeria has not realised her full potential. Why are we still hearing the same names in politics? It is only in Nigeria we have 'Youth Leaders' who are aged 45 years and above...............
While I accept that most elders have knowledge and experience beyond that of most young people, I also feel that age often comes with caution and older people are more accepting of the status quo. Over the years, most revolutions, inventions and innovations have been delivered by young people. This is because they are still restless enough to ask questions that preempt drastic change, for example ...
'Why is this situation like this?' OR 'How can we make it better/ easier/ faster...?'
A society that ignores its young minds is not ready for progress. While I accept the saying 'What an elder sees sitting down, a child will not see standing up'.....I also agree with the saying 'Age considers; youth ventures' (Rabindranath Tagore)
(3) A childless woman has no value
A lot of women are often made to feel worthless because they are unable to have babies. This is so so wrong. While I accept this is not exclusive to Nigerian culture; I must say that Nigerians are not diplomatic in their disrespect for childless women.
It doesn't seem to matter ......
Whether the woman has discovered the cure for cancer......OR
Whether she has being to space.............OR
Whether she has being awarded a Nobel prize...........OR
Whether she has even been instrumental in the cessation of war or conflict
.......If she never born she no be person (if she hasnt had a child she is not worth much)
I am always amazed when parents who have brought up their daughters to be principled start panicking when the married/unmarried daughter-without-a-child gets to her mid-thirties.
In some cases I have seen these same parents advice their daughter to 'Just have a child before it's too late'. While I attempt to understand their concern; I cant help but despair because (a) It places the women under so much pressure and (b) It makes all their other achievements seem unimportant
(4) Preference for male or female children
Preference for Male children: I am always shocked when I hear fellow Nigerians tell me 'I'm lucky' whenever they find out I have only boys. Really? In this day and age? I even recall a Nigerian man telling me that 'daughters are a waste of time because men will marry them and take them away one day. ' Surprisingly, this man was 'educated'
I'm sure we all know of cases where supposedly educated Nigerian men complain that their wives have failed to produce a male child - conveniently forgetting all the Biology lessons they had in secondary school (that it is the father that provides the chromosome that determines the gender of a child).
Preference for female children: Similarly, I am always told that 'I must have a girl because girls are more likely to take care of me when I am old'..............
How can one predict that? I know daughters who are cold towards their parents and shower more affection on their in laws..........and I know boys who jump whenever their parents need something...
All I know is as I cannot predict the future and see whether my boys will 'take care of me in my old age' ............Also, I cannot keep on having children in an endless quest for a daughter. So, I will love the ones I'm blessed with wholeheartedly. Today has enough worries, let tomorrow take care of itself LOL
Do you feel our Nigerian culture ignores the voice of the young and listens only to the elderly.....??
Do you feel motherhood is the only way a woman can truly be judged as a success.......???
Finally, do you feel young Nigerians still consider the gender of their children as cause for worry........(i.e is there still a preference for female or male children) ???
Stay blessed and see you next Friday for my final post on this topic