Friday, 13 July 2012

All Na Film Trick

PIDGIN ENGLISH VERSION:
Omo see something
Naija don better oh............
See how all the girls dey shine for home video
See how the weddings dey dazzle 
See all the boutiques wey dem dey open 
See how musicians dey chop life
See how politicians dey live large
See how all our actors dey drive big car
Omo things don change oh !

Omo see something
Naija don better oh...........
See how we replace NEPA* with generator
See how we replace water board with bore hole
See how we replace NITEL* with mobile phone
See how we replace better olopa* with high fence
See how we replace Nigerian Airways with anything else
See how we change state schools to poultry shed
Omo things don change oh !

Omo see something
Naija don better oh..........
See how all our pickins dey study for Ghana
See how we export ashewo go everywhere
See how we import Chinese replace Englishman
See how we create 419 brand
See how our big men dey buy all London
See how our girls sabi Brazillian and Indian*
Omo things don change oh !

Omo see something
Naija don better oh..........
Our pickin know all USA states....but no sabi where Damaturu* dey
Our sisi sabi chop strawberry and apple.....but dem forbid agbalumo, udara, otien*..
Our brothers sabi flex Gucci* belt......but deny Hausa* slippers
Our aristos sabi Laboutin* ......but forbid Adire*
Our ajebos sabi Harry Potter and Shakespeare .....but no sabi Achebe or Soyinka*
Dem even get English accent......but dem forbid Pidgin English
Dem ban tribal marks..........but dem love dollar tattoo !

Omo things don change
Make we clap for ourselves. 
Na progress....abi?

ENGLISH VERSION:
My friend, can you believe it?
Nigeria sure has come a long way.............
See all the gorgeous girls in our movies
See how fabulous our weddings are
See all the boutiques being opened daily
See how our musicians are enjoying life
See how our politicians are living large
See how our actors drive flashy car
Nigeria sure has come a long way !

My friends, can you believe it?
Nigeria sure has come a long way..........
Look how we replaced NEPA* with individual generators
Look how we replaced our Water Boards with individual Boreholes
Look how we replaced NITEL* with mobile phones
Look how we replaced good policemen with higher fences
Look how we replaced Nigerian Airways with anything else
Look how we left our state schools to become poultry sheds
Nigeria sure has come a long way !

My friends, can you believe it?
Nigeria sure has come a long way..........
See how our children now go to schools in Ghana
See how we have exported prostitution worldwide
See how we have imported the Chinese to replace the English
See how we have created the 419* brand
See how our rich men own choice properties in London
See how knowledgeable our girls are about weave-on
Nigeria sure has come a long way !

My friend, can you believe it?
                              Nigeria sure has come a long way...........                               Our children know all the USA states ....but have no idea where Damaturu* is
Our girls love eating strawberries and apples.....but shy away from Nigerian cherry fruit
Our brothers wear Gucci* belts........but forbid Hausa-made* footwear
Our aristocrats love Louboutin* shoes .......but will not wear Adire* fabric
Our spoilt children know 'Harry Potter' and 'Shakespeare' .....but don't know Achebe or Soyinka*
They even have English accents ...but forbid Pidgin English
They banned tribal marks.....but they love tattoos of dollars !

Nigeria sure has come a long way......
We deserve a round of applause
This is progress ...............Isn't it ?




GLOSSARY:

NEPA* = National Electric Power Authority (organisation formerly responsible for use of electricity in Nigeria)
NITEL* = Nigerian Telecommunications Limited (main telecommunications company in Nigeria)
olopa* = policeman
419* = Advance Fee Fraud
Brazillian and Indian* = Types of Human Hair extensions
Damaturu* = City in Yobe State
agbalumo, udara, otien* = Traditional names for Nigerian cherry fruit
Gucci* = Italian designer
Hausa* = Ethnic group in Northern Nigeria
Louboutin* = Luxury French designer
Adire* = Yoruba tie and dye cloth
Achebe or Soyinka* = Great Nigerian authors





72 comments:

  1. Clapping my hands. The tribal marks vs tattoo thing... I never thought about that one but its so true.

    Na wa for our kind of progress sha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed oh, our 'progress' get as e be
      Take care
      xxxx

      Delete
  2. I love this poem... in the beginning after the first paragraph, I honestly thought it was a list of positive changes but Nna... God will help my country sha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL @'in the beginning.......'
      That's why e be film trick abi?
      God help us oh
      xxxx

      Delete
  3. Classic! Really beautiful poetry.
    Unfortunely, there are more -ves.
    God bless naija sha. how we for do?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much
      Exactly.........how we for do?
      I really wonder how we can facilitate change
      xxxx

      Delete
  4. This is an epic poem! Very very apt....and sadly so!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly so my sister
      The matter tire me sotay.....I wan sleep all day LOL
      How are you?
      xxxxxxxxx

      Delete
  5. A serious issue you brought out in your poem, but i laughed @ Damaturu and Adire, so true! Omo, nah really something ooo.
    Weldone sis, more inspiration to your fingers.
    Have a lovely weekend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You dey laugh abi....LOL
      Na real something oh
      God bless you and thanks for your prayers
      So kind........as always
      xxxxxxxxxx

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. Thanks dearie
      Hope all is well with you
      xxxxxxxx

      Delete
  7. Beautiful poem N.I.L..our sad reality

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes oh ....re: sad reality
      Too too sad
      Hope all is well with you?
      xxxxxxxxx

      Delete
    2. Yes, I am very well..hope you are good too?

      Delete
  8. All indeed na film trick. I am currently in naija and e never beta o!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. E never beta !!!!
      True True
      Please dont make me despair oh
      *sigh*
      That means na real film trick we dey see everywhere
      Safe journey back home
      xxxxxxxxxxxxx

      Delete
  9. Naija don over better sef!! Na only God, na im go helep us hia o!
    The great Naija mum in London, I dey invite you to follow me back o.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No only God oh!
      I have followed you asap.
      I thought I did when I popped you on my blog-roll........
      Done now
      xxx

      Delete
  10. Beautiful poem...well composed. The pidgin version drives home the point more

    ReplyDelete
  11. You write so beautifully...
    I kept thinking "if only it was fiction" *deep sigh*
    The schools turning into poultry sheds :'(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your lovely words
      Much appreciated
      The schools issue tire me oh

      Hope all is well with you
      xxxxx

      Delete
  12. Lol! So true. We are such adaptable creatures in Nigeria.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adaptable is a good way to describe it my sistah
      Thanks for dropping by
      xxxxx

      Delete
  13. Sadly true and written well. God help us! I liked the pidgin English version.

    ReplyDelete
  14. All na serious film trick. One step forward and about 200 steps back

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My sistah, e pass 200 steps oh
      I still live in hope that all these shall pass
      Hope you dey sha
      xxx

      Delete
  15. Indeed, my friend, can you believe it?
    See the backward progress our country had made!
    I yearn and pray for change but wonder how or when?
    You are a talent, sis!
    Love you, 33yrs on........:*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *blowing kisses*
      My dear smallie
      Thanks for dropping by
      Hope you and yours are well
      xxxx

      Delete
  16. Hmmmmmmmmm deep poem... talent in making.. well said words in the written package..

    What can I say, I pray I live to do my part. AMEN.

    Thanks for sharing.. xxxxx God will continue to elevate you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen re 'I pray I live to do my part'

      Amen oh to the prayer.

      I pray you reach heights you never dreamed off
      Amen and amen!
      xxx

      Delete
  17. LOL I love it
    Funny but insightful at the same time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes oh re 'funny'

      Them say 'na laff laff person take dey talk true' (truth is often hidden under a funny utterance)

      How are you sweetie?
      xxxx

      Delete
  18. my best part "See how we import Chinese replace Englishman" SMH

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My sister that part still amazes me
      It seems we are so happy to respect others while disrespecting ourselves.
      *shaking my head*

      Delete
  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  20. awww....NIL, this is soo beautiful....sad realities! May God help us!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes oh. That is the best way to describe it ......'sad realities'
      *sigh*

      How are you?

      Delete
  21. *deep sigh*, some days I wake up telling myself I want to go home then reality such as this hits me and I thank God for mama sharlie's country, is there any light at the end of the tunnel? brilliant analysis!

    www.bukkyapampa.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL @ 'Mama Sharlie'
      You no go kill person.
      Thanks for dropping by
      I don reach your side. I liked what I saw.
      Be back soon
      xxxxxx

      Delete
  22. I don thief am since put for my facebook update. it's so, so true! Lol!
    nitabrownsugah.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You thief am?
      You dey owe me rice and stew oh...LOL
      Hope all is well?

      Delete
  23. Bravo...beautiful piece...it is well with Naija's soul and children...one day e go better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I pray e better oh! WE cannot carry on like this

      Thank my sistah
      xxxx

      Delete
  24. So sad that the adire we look down on is the same the Westerners we aim to be like look out for once they arrive here!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes oh!
      I dont think we often realise our worth *sigh*
      Thanks dearie
      xxx

      Delete
  25. Sigh. Progress shouldnt mean abandoning what makes us different and unique. the. again its not like we don't like indigenous thngs but cheap imports and expensive local production iznt helping matters..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have to disagree (to some extent) with regards to 'cheap imports'
      I still believe the average Nigerian will choose a cheap import over a home made product - even when offered free
      We too like 'foreign made'
      xxxxxxxxxxx

      Delete
  26. Nice i like it. I feel like this piece should be framed somewhere!

    lol this made me laugh Dem ban tribal marks..........but dem love dollar tattoo !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank sfor your lovely comments
      The tribal marks vs tatto tire me my sister. LOL
      How are you?
      xxxx

      Delete
  27. How apt! Very well said.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many thanks J
      How are you
      Hope you are coping with the boys this summer
      You are in my thoughts
      xxxxxxxxxxx

      Delete
  28. hmmm NIL...I am amazed at how exactly you covered all in those few lines..I doff my hat ma'am.
    ...and I love the pidgin version..it's excellent..
    true, so true..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Dammy
      I do appreciate your comments
      I also loved the Pidgin version but I try to translate so I dont exclude those who dont understand Pidgin
      Many thanks again
      xxxxxxxx

      Delete
  29. Dem be film tricks joor... All those ones na "Omo see film tricks".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes oh!
      Thanks my brother
      Hope all is well with you?
      xxxx

      Delete
  30. Deep deep talk. Nigeria is a tragi-comedy. Most of us have lost our values and I'm included in that most.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agree that most of us have lost our values.
      Not easy being principled in Nigeria but I pray more of us take this route - myself included :(

      Hope all is well with you ?
      xxxxxxx

      Delete
  31. As a researcher in contemporary African narration, I give you full marks for this. I am so happy you have done this. Sorry, I only read the pidgin version and I hope you don't mind. Naija mum, na why I like to dey come your blog be this, you sabi dazzle your reader.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Mykey
      I am truly touched
      The pidgin is my favourite also
      Hope all is well
      xxxxxxxxxxxxx

      Delete
  32. P.s- This deserves to be shouted from the roof tops or at least be in one of the dailies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks dearie
      I think they are more focused on 'red carpet events' LOL

      Delete
  33. Plenty of food for thought wrapped up in a very articulate poem, you really need to consider writing a book of collection of your poems. Nigerian children could really do with literature of this nature instead of just of 'Harry Potter' and the likes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your lovely comments
      I need to get my act together seriously
      I shall take your feedback - and that of others - as inspiration to get my writing mojo back on track
      Thanks again
      xxxxx

      Delete
  34. oh my this is outstanding writing..i too read the pidgin part, i only scanned the proper english part..this is sad but true, honestly this kind progress e get as e be o...

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'm not Nigerian and this is my first time visiting your blog and i must say this poem is BRILLIANT, sad, even cruel in a way. The saddest part is that i feel like you can change the word 'Nigeria' and insert any other (Sub-Saharan) African country and this poem would still hold the deep truth that it does with Nigeria.I am Gambian and sadly this poem pretty much illustrates everything Gambia has become. Africa and Africans have to do better.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Chei I dey feel this poem wella!! And ofcourse the pidgin version! Ah I missed reading your space.

    ReplyDelete
  37. You know I dint even bother reading the english version! Hahaha

    ReplyDelete

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