Wednesday, 24 November 2010

COULD have; SHOULD have; WOULD have.........?!

I was reading the paper the other day and I came upon this interview with an old man. The interviewer asked him if he had any regrets - about things he should have done when he was younger. Unsurprisingly, the man had a few - with his main regret being that he should have spent more time with his children!

Well, as I DO spend quite a bit of time with my kids, and since I do know that my presence is not always welcome by them *smile*; I started thinking of all the things I could have, should have and would have done - even just once - IF not for the fact that I am the first born and I have always tried to act 'responsible':

1. Worn much shorter skirts
Looking at my old pictures, I am glad to say that I was really a cute girl. I now regret not wearing really short skirts to show off my fresh young legs *smile*. I could have, but as a 'good, well brought up Catholic Naija girl' - with a strict father; that was defnitely a no-no!
It was even impossible because after we moved back to our home-town, it seemed like I grew up with spies everywhere - as everyone knew everyone...*sigh*
As my legs now look like that of a retired footballer, I have to say the hemlines of my skirts will now only march southwards......!*double sigh*

2. Travelled round the world
When my white colleagues tell me about their various travel experiences, I must confess that I am envious because at the time when I should have been gallivanting round the world (early 90s); Nigeria was not really in a great state. So, being a good Naija daughter; I spent all that time worrying about my siblings and parents in Naija. Any regrets? .....mmmm.....I have to admit, somedays, yes.
That is why I intend enjoying the narrow window - between when my kids all leave home and they start bringing their grandkids to me  - to do some travelling!
Consequently, I have started praying for good health.
Again, I have warned my boys that none of them should think of any 'nonsense' till they are at least 28 years old. I am definitely not praying to be a young grandma anytime soon. Please join me in my prayers. *smile*

3. Tried mind-altering drugs
I know not everyone will agree, but I would have liked to have tried at least one mind-altering drug (alcohol does not count)*smile*
Just to see what the big deal is all about. As I am a wimp, I never did try. I could have because I remember one guy who was always offering me weed - because he wanted me to 'lose my inhibition'. I refused then and told him the 'inhibition' was there to remind me that I should not lower my standards and date him!
Could I still try drugs now?
Frankly, no...because I think my brain is too fragile to play with now, and secondly, with 3 boys, I couldn't even begin to warn them about drugs when I am indulging myself.....!

4. Dated a non-Nigerian
I use the word 'dated' loosely here. All I would have liked to do is to have is s*x with someone of a different colour - Asian, European, Latino, Eskimo....It doesnt really matter. I would have welcomed the opportunity to find out if s*x is any different. I'm sure its not, but I should have found out.
As I am an equal opportunity manager and friend, it beggars belief that I did not extend my colour-blind attitude to 'dating'! It could be that I was only attracted to Nigerians? Possibly, I dont know. I could still cheat and find out, but that is definitely not an option......So this door is definitely closed!

5. Bought a motorbike
I have always wanted  to own a bike. Not some rickety, sad, spluttering bike but a huge, throbbing, monster of a machine that can only be called a 'beast'.....mmmmm!
I still sneak into bike shops whenever I go shopping just to feel the leather seats or to take away some imagery I can use in my dreams *sigh*
I can even tell you that I would truly love to own either a Suzuki GSX-R750 or a Honda CBR 1000RR Fireblade *double sigh*
My hubby doesnt agree as he thinks they are dangerous.
However, I feel one runs a greater risk of dying when you get on a plane or even cross a busy road! So, I do think this wish is NOT going to die as a should have. There's still life in me yet so who knows...................?

P.S: Do have a think about what things you could have, should have or would have done; and let me know.
(If it's too naughty, do leave an anonymous comment....*smile*)


  1. I laughed ooo, i wouldn't mind dating a non-9ja guy shirts? way! have k-legs!...heheee...traveling around the world?...that sound good....but am scared of heights ooo & AMEN to your prayer ! They should wait till they are 28years old o!..

    I SHOULD had learnt how to sew or weave hair when I COULD mend my kids clothes & weave my gals hair without stress!

    I SHOULD had read education in school instead of Estate management, so i WOULD be earning my own money!

    I WOULD love to have a breast that i COULD do without bras at all!

    lol.... that is all

  2. LOL at the breast lift!
    As for reading education, you know its never too late. I went back for a second degree after my kids.
    You never know.....!

  3. lol, i only wish i could do number one and two before getting married sha. the remaining are out of my reach and capability

  4. @Jobs4Naija...If you are still free and single, please do travel some more. Even if its to nearby states/ countries. A change of scenery is really refreshing.
    Thanks for stopping by.

  5. Number 2 and 5 are most definately on my list before marriage, as for 3-that is a no go area.


  6. Okay Lara *smile* - regarding no 3 being a 'no go' area!
    Agree, you should definitely travel - as much as possible.
    Could you send me a picture of your motorbike when you do get it...this might convince my hubby!
    Thanks for stopping by - I had a look at your blog and I like its positivity. Fab!

  7. 'Dating' a non-Nigerian?? Eerm...No!
    Did shorter skirts.
    Looking to more global travel.
    Knowing now there was time to repent, maybe I would have kuku gone as deep into sin. If stealing a pencil and stealin a car have the same consequence. Would have looted the bank.
    Thank God for mercies!

    Well done!

  8. @Notmad:
    LOL at 'would have gone as deep into sin'
    I guess the fear of getting caught was always a great deterrent!
    Thanks you for the comment. I'm visiting your blog next...........

  9. i agree with all your regrets except the mind altering drugs. what if it had altered you differently?

  10. Mind altering drugs scare me no end cos I've seen first hand what it does to people. Like a fine young person so out of their mind, they were eating their own faeces. Trust me, it was not funny to see that. It left me mute for a month.

    Of course every one does not react to drugs the same way. You are right though, why take the risk?

  11. @Uzezi: Re: What if ...abou drugs...I guess that's why I never tried them - too scared! *smile*

    @Naijalines: Yuk and double-yuk re: eating their own poo!!!! That really must have been disturbing. Definitely a 'say no to drugs' image in my head now...Thanks!

  12. I have tried all these before but number 3 almost destroyed me. Don't even think about it, I am lucky to be alive today, because I had family who cared and supported me at the time. keep clear of no 3!

  13. @Latino:
    Hola, Cómo estás?
    Thanks for sharing your experience with me. I do hope you are now okay.

    Many thanks and I'm hoping you stop by often...

  14. I should have gotten to know my husband better before marrying him and having his kids. I never knew one man could have so many issues! I should have put more trust in the Lord instead of man because the Lord will not lie or hurt me. I love my children but I should have waited to have them. I'm 24 years old and I'm a wife and mother and my life completely revolves around everyone else. I have lost myself and don't know how to find me again.

  15. thank you for stopping by. i needed the encouragement and appreciate your words. keep me in your prayer still, this is more difficult than i ever thought!

    @Dominique - i feel your pain and i can totally relate. when you life seems like it's about everyone else but you, that i totally get. i guess you have to take a step back and begin a journey to rediscover who you really are. hugs!

  16. @Dominique:
    Thanks so much for sharing,I really appreciate it. While I dont know everything about your circumstance; I must tell you that 24 years is still young enough to discover yourself again. Please do not give up - Try taking an objective look at yourself and think about what you can do next......! I'll be praying for you...xoxoxo

    Many thanks for sharing. A burden shared is a burden halved. Please take one day at a time and do care for yourself. xoxox

  17. Very nice list ;-)

    I'm still pretty for now I'd like to say that I have no regrets *crosses fingers*

    But I'd def love to travel the let's see how life plays out b4 the ring and the babies come along!

    Lovely blog btw!

  18. Thanks are blessed *smile*
    Hope you get to explore the world before the ring and SEVEN babies come along *laugh*

  19. lol...ok, I have to put you up there with some of the funniest bloggers on the Ville...I cracked up so much at "As my legs now look like that of a retired footballer..."

    Of course I sometimes think about stuff I coulda, shoulda, woulda done under different circumstances...short skirts aint one of them though as I don't think I have the legs for them...same for m/a drugs...

    I certainly hope to do more world travel...there's surely time for that.

  20. @JustDoyin
    Thanks for the compliment. Truth is laughter is one way I get through life's challenges.
    Do hope you still get to travel.

  21. I want to travel too! Hopefully this year. I've been thinking of going to India, I just love their culture. Also this new show i'm watching(Outsourced) makes me want to go even more lol.
    I've been a good kid all my life. I'm going to be 20 this year, haven't been to a club, drank alcohol and I keep thinking to myself 'I hope I'm not going to regret this' Hopefully, I don't!

    Did I mention that I love your blog?

  22. Tobi,
    You must def travel..if you get a chance.
    As for clubbing and drinking, I'll be a bad influence if I tell you to go ahead because we all must be responsible for our choices.
    However, I am a firm believer in taking calculated risks as a youngster i.e. visiting a club with a responsible adult OR having a glass of wine in the company of responsible adults.
    Better make mistakes you can learn from when you're younger.
    According to my mama...'HAD I KNOWN, IS THE BROTHER OF MR. TOO-LATE !'
    Thanks for dropping by

  23. I should have traveled more before having a child - but like you, this is just on hold for now.

    Should have taken full advantage of the whole student life situation instead of wasting it traveling up and down to see one foolish boy!

    Should have continued to do drama in school. I still dream of being on stage. I didn't take drama because my parents wanted a doctor. I ain't no actor now, and I for sure ain't no doctor either! Smh.

    Should have taken tennis more seriously in school, especially since my P.E. teacher said I was so good. again the parents knew best. Won't say no more! Lol.

    I better stop before I get myself in trouble. Lololol.

  24. You're an adventurous chick re: the bike.

  25. AWEsome,
    Very wonderful blog! and yes I am reading almost all your posts,lol. I am 21 and for some reasons recently I just wanna travel the world and have some mee time. I have been eyeing power bikes my love and my boss has one yellow beauty...hmmn. I thank God these thoughts are coming now and not ten years later. I studied mathematics in school and presently working @ a tracking firm BUT want to be a fashion designer by God's Grace I am hoping to study fashion designing in France come 2014. I'm happy i saw this cos it just reminds me that NOW is the time

  26. I really like your blog! Systematically reading through your posts and I'm loving each one.
    I'm in my late twenties and thoroughly enjoyed doing Number1. I'm in process of Number2, hitting at least 3 new countries this summer. Number3 scares me no end, I like being in full control of my mental faculties so hard or even soft drugs are a no-no for me. alcohol is enough. I've dated guys from 4 African countries, but I'm thinking I should try a white guy and/or a Latino guy...time is running out for me though lol. As for Number5, power bikes, most definitely I'm going to get one! But the cost mehn...
    Oh well, I4ve always thought these are some of the things I need to get out of my system before I settle down - glad to see I'm not being totally selfish and other people feel the same way too!


I always look forward to reading comments from visitors - so please leave yours. Many thanks for dropping by....xoxoxox