Wednesday, 5 January 2011

Understanding Women....Lesson 101

Are women complicated creatures?

I USED to think NOT!! However, I have come to think otherwise.


Well, while I grew up in a house full of girls where my dad was the only male (as mum had only daughters); I now live in a house full of boys where I'm the only female (as I have only sons). Over the years, I have become convinced that a man can never truly understand the mind of a woman.

Indeed, I even believe that men are simpler creatures and women are DEFINITELY a subject-matter that men need time and patience to truly understand. Wait!! Scrap that thought........even with all the time and patience in the world, I still doubt whether ANY man can successfully unravel the mysteries of the female mind!

However, I live in hope so I am doing my best to 'enlighten' my sons about the intricacies involved in dealing with females (i.e.  nieces, female classmates, cousins......). For example, whenever we have female guests come over to the house, I always remind them (the boys) to first find out what the girls' interests are............This is to help clarify whether the guest is, a 'girly-girl - who would rather watch a movie'; OR 'a tomboy - who is ready to play a game of football or even arm-wrestle'!

Well, recently my 'enlightenment programme' progressed to another level as my first son (Prof1)  had his first impromptu Understanding Women lesson/ lecture!

I confess that I was completely unprepared for this, but I did my best....:

You see, from time to time (whenever I'm alone with any of the boys); I usually ask if there's anything they want to discuss. This is because while we (hubby and I) accept they are unlikely to tell us everything; we are keen to keep the lines of communication open .........
Anyway on this day, I was alone in the car with Prof1, so I absentmindedly asked:
Me: 'Is there anything you want to ask me?'
Prof1: 'Mmmmm...not really.'
Me: 'Are you sure?'
Prof1: 'Well.........' He then clams up and starts to smile as he turns up the music
I am now officially intrigued and I am determined to 'squeeze' out this info.
So, I turn the music down, concentrate on the road ahead and using my 'good-mum' voice, I now ask as cooly and nonchalantly as possible:
Me: 'Well..........?'
Prof1: 'Well, there's this girl in my class who really likes me.'

Shock! Horror!!
My first thoughts are: Chineke! OMG!! These girls want to 'corrupt' my little boy who is not even a teenager yet! And by the way, how can a girl even like a boy I still have to remind to comb his hair and tuck in his shirt? Lord help me!!!
Outwardly, I remain composed as I maintain my nonchalant air and ask:
Me: 'Mmmmm...which girl is that?'
Prof1: 'Lily*'
Me: 'Did she tell you herself?'
Prof1: 'Her best-friend told me first and then she told me the next day.'
My heart is racing as I imagine the crafty little girls scheming to 'steal' my darling boy. *hissssss*
I still remain calm as I ask:
Me: 'Do you understand what she means by saying she likes you very much?'
Prof1: 'I really don't know but she just told me that. I think she wants me to say I like her best in the class'
Me: 'Mmm...Do you like her?'
Prof1: 'No! I don't really like her but I don't want to tell her that because she might be upset!'
My thoughts at this stage: Ewo! My boy is even learning to consider a woman's feelings?! Is this good or bad I wonder?
I take a deep breath and continue this conversation:
Me: 'Well, you must not tell her you don't like her. must never say you really like her also!'
Prof1: ...with a quizzical look on his face...... 'MMMMM?....How does that work?'
Me: 'Well, if she tells you she likes you, just say thank you. If she asks whether you like her, be polite and say you like ALL the girls and boys in the class. That way, you won't hurt her feelings.'
Prof1: .....nodding ......'Oh, basically, I shouldn't lie and I shouldn't hurt her feelings?!
Me: ....smiling.....'Exactly!!'

Well, I thought this issue had been resolved until he returned from school two days later. Taking me to one side, he blurted:
Prof1: 'Mum, Lily* was crying in school today!'
Me: 'Why? What happened?'
Prof1: 'Well, she found out I don't like her'
Me: ...alarmed....'How........?'
Prof1: 'Well, her best-friend asked me if I really liked Lily* and I said 'definitely not!'
Me: 'But I told you not to say that. didn't I?'
Prof1: 'Yes, but I never told Lily, I only answered her best-friend when she asked me.'
OMG.....I look at this boy in wonderment as I now understand how simple men are compared to women!

How could he not have know that Lily* sent her best-friend to quiz him?!
*Big sigh* So, this is how the Understanding Women - Lesson 101 was then imparted by me:
Me:.......'Anytime a girl's friend asks you a question, you must assume that (a) the girl sent her to ask the question and (b) whatever answer you give is going straight to the girl. Do you understand?'
Prof1: 'I think so.....So, should I tell Lily* that I might like her a bit?'
Me: 'No!!!! It's better this way. It's best she knows you don't really like her!'
Prof1: 'I thought you said its not nice to tell her I don't like her at all.'
Me: ....sighing.....'I know. But this time, you didnt tell her, her best-friend did. So, its all good!!!'
Prof1 walks away shaking his head confusedly. I have to stop myself from laughing out loud as I realise my son must now be thinking how complicated women are..........!
Well, do you agree that women are more complicated than men????

(PS: *Lily is not the girl's real name)


  1.'re such an awesome mom!!! I'm taking notes! Wow I love the relationship that you have with your son!

    Women ARE definitely without a shadow of a doubt more complicated than men, I confuse myself at

  2. ahahahahaahahaaaahaaa.....oh! na wah for we mothers o!...'putting on the protective suit' all of a sudden!....*hi5* o jare! He's damn too young to be involved in a 'relationship!'...lolll.

    To your question, yep! we are v-e-r-y complicated o!Remembered the things i said about women in my older post 'THINKING ALOUD?'

    Have you heard about the indian proverb that said when GOD created the animals & man, HE found out he had ran out of materials so he decided to re-take materials from the LION, GIRAFFE, PEACOCK, PARROT, WIND, WATER, & MAN. Alas, man was so happy when he was presented with woman, but returned her back few days later complaining she talks too much, unpredictable, always want, want,& want! That he didn't want her.So GOD took her away from him. Only for man to walk slowly to GOD dragging his feet & told GOD everywhere is boring, that he wants her back. GOD returned her to him. Only for him to come back in few days time to complain again, but GOD told him he just have to live with her becox he created her from the combination of different elements, hence she would be BOLD & COURAGEOUS like the lion, BEAUTIFUL & TALKATIVE like the peacock & parrot.GRACEFUL like the giraffe, unpredictable like the wind & unstable like the waters. So man had no choice! EVEN GOD HIMSELF HAD NOT RESTED SINCE HE CREATED US O!..ahahaha

  3. Hehehehehe. OMG! This is hilarious. Well, i guess Prof1 just had his first class in Understanding women 101. Poor Lily.

    Women are definitely more complex than men

  4. @Blessing:
    RE: 'you're such an awesome mom!!!'
    Many thanks for the lovely compliment BUT I can assure you that I am definitely a WIP (work in progress).
    Most times, I find myself overwhelmed by this 'motherhood thingy'. Anyway, I'm trying to do my best!
    Thanks so much for dropping by.

    Wow....I love that story. Too true.
    As Blessing said, even I get confused - as to what I really want - from time to time.
    I shall pop over to read your post - xoxoxox

  5. @Mimi:
    You sef....poor Lily?!...LOL
    The girl must have moved on by now *hissss*
    I'm popping over to your blog to read the post.

  6. lol! I've started learning parenting tips already o! Thanks to Naijamum & Ibhade (her blog is an almost comprehensive handbook on parenting and marriage)

    The intro was really cool! [the contrast between you and your mum :)]

    'Well, you must not tell her you don't like her. must never say you really like her also!'

    [Now, that's a tight rope to walk on, even for adults! :)]

    "How could he not have know that Lily* sent her best-friend to quiz him?!":

    [I had to learn that fast enough in Primary school o! Especially when things discussed amongst the boys leaked so fast and girls easily knew ho was eyeing them and all. Some boys even sent friends of their 'targets' as spies too sha. Thankfully, I was too 'book-minded' to be implicated lol!

    @Ibhade: Splendid story! I guess that explains it all! :)

    I don't need to be told, females are definitely more complex! I have female friends; even those I had to work with in the Uni (Fellowship, etc.) showed me 'pepper' in my bid to try understand them and get them to be quite supportive. Mehn! It's serious, hard work!!!

    I'll definitely be watching out this space for more gist *rolling eyes*

  7. @Gbehgaawomodu....tnxX bros...:)

  8. Hahahahahahahahahahaha I couldn't stop laughing while reading this. Prof really got a lesson in women.
    I don't think we are more complicated. I think we are only more expressive. A woman will find 10 ways to say a thing that a man can only say in 1 way. The same goes for emotions. :)

  9. Parenting, sure takes alot of wisdom. You've got boys and your heart is racing, I hear girls have lorry loads of issues and i believe.
    May God continually help you be the best mum.

  10. @Gbenga:
    Re: 'I've started learning parenting tips already o! Thanks to Naijamum & Ibhade'
    Abi oh? I have to confess that I'm still learning as the children didnt come with manual :)....So, I always ask and observe other parents (those I admire)

    Re:'[Now, that's a tight rope to walk on, even for adults! :)' ...totally agree. However, I think women are more skilful at saying 'something' WITHOUT saying 'anything' LOL

    RE'[I had to learn that fast enough in Primary school o!'
    I can see you were a 'sharp' boy *smile*

    Re: Ibhade's story: truly fantastic. It really makes so much sense!

    Re: 'I don't need to be told, females are definitely more complex!' Tell me about it! Even when female friends ask me for my opinion, I often find myself 'editing' my utterances so I dont cause offence (intended or unintended)!
    It's really a full time job trying to understand a woman....perhaps that's why most men dont even try *smile*

    Thanks for stopping by. Much appreciated.

  11. @Prism:
    I'm glad you laughed because that's the only thing that keeps us sane in this crazy world of ours abi?
    Yes oh.. my Prof1 got a real lesson. I know there's more to come .....and I'm praying that God grants me (and all parents) the wisdom and calmness to guide our children through life - as best as we can.
    Re: 'I don't think we are more complicated. I think we are only more expressive.': I never thought of that before....I do agree!
    Perhaps its the fact that we communicate in a different way from men that causes soooo much confusion. for thought! I really can see that because my boys often think I go on and on about somethings! *laugh*
    Thanks for stopping by.

  12. @P.E.T:
    Re: 'Parenting, sure takes alot of wisdom.' Believe me, it really does....and loads of patience too!!!
    Re: 'You've got boys and your heart is racing'.....Gbam!!! Especially as I have come to realise that little girls are more cunning and calculating than the boys!
    Anyway, I'm relying on my Lord every second - to guide me through this parenting journey.
    Amen to your prayer oh! Many thanks for stopping by and I wish you a blessed 2011 ....According to you the year two thousand and ELEVATE (Love that)!!!

  13. @Ibhade:
    Thanks again for that story.
    I shall be passing this on to my hubby the next time he complains about me and my confused ways *smile*

  14. Lol how funny. I love the relationship you have with your sons and it's good you are giving them tips now. Women are complicated o. Lol I used to fight back men that said that we were but those days I have realized they r right as I find myself complicated too at times. Lovely piece.

  15. you have a gr8 relationship with them, i hope i can handle such when my time comes! you handled it so well..i so lolled at you freaking out in ur mind -lmho!!
    women are too too complicated, even women cannot understand fellow women.

  16. @Angelsbeauty:
    Thanks so much for the lovely compliment re: the relationship with my kids.
    We have good and bad days. Some days I speak softly, some days I shout!!! *smile*
    Yes, we are definitely complicated. Even I have to admit that..and my hubby will agree....LOL
    Thanks for dropping by!

    Re: handled well...I really was freaking out (in my mind) because I did not understand what the girl meant by 'liking him'!
    As you can see, I am a very suspicious mother *smile*
    Thanks for dropping by.

  17. Women are definitely more complicated. I used to think otherwise b4 cos i always told myself that I am 'simple and different'. But after getting into d most serious relationship of my life, the way I have handle some issues and surprised myself made me know that I am not dat 'different' after all. Deep down, I am still a woman.

    Women are the more complicated gender, long and short.

  18. Sorry, First time here

  19. RE: @ILOLA:
    LOL @'i always told myself that I am 'simple and different'....Same here.
    I used to argue with male friends that I was simple and straightforward.
    However, as I have grown older, I am first to admit that only God can understand me *smile*
    Thanks for dropping by.

  20. Women are definitely more complicated. But women don't really understand men until they are older and have mastered the male psychology. lol.

    LOL@ 'But women don't really understand men until they are older and have mastered the male psychology'......
    I believe by 'mastered' you mean 'come to tolerate' ???? *smile*


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