Understanding Women....Lesson 101

Are women complicated creatures?

I USED to think NOT!! However, I have come to think otherwise.

Why.......?

Well, while I grew up in a house full of girls where my dad was the only male (as mum had only daughters); I now live in a house full of boys where I'm the only female (as I have only sons). Over the years, I have become convinced that a man can never truly understand the mind of a woman.

Indeed, I even believe that men are simpler creatures and women are DEFINITELY a subject-matter that men need time and patience to truly understand. Wait!! Scrap that thought........even with all the time and patience in the world, I still doubt whether ANY man can successfully unravel the mysteries of the female mind!

However, I live in hope so I am doing my best to 'enlighten' my sons about the intricacies involved in dealing with females (i.e.  nieces, female classmates, cousins......). For example, whenever we have female guests come over to the house, I always remind them (the boys) to first find out what the girls' interests are............This is to help clarify whether the guest is, a 'girly-girl - who would rather watch a movie'; OR 'a tomboy - who is ready to play a game of football or even arm-wrestle'!

Well, recently my 'enlightenment programme' progressed to another level as my first son (Prof1)  had his first impromptu Understanding Women lesson/ lecture!

I confess that I was completely unprepared for this, but I did my best....:

You see, from time to time (whenever I'm alone with any of the boys); I usually ask if there's anything they want to discuss. This is because while we (hubby and I) accept they are unlikely to tell us everything; we are keen to keep the lines of communication open .........
 
Anyway on this day, I was alone in the car with Prof1, so I absentmindedly asked:
Me: 'Is there anything you want to ask me?'
Prof1: 'Mmmmm...not really.'
Me: 'Are you sure?'
Prof1: 'Well.........' He then clams up and starts to smile as he turns up the music
I am now officially intrigued and I am determined to 'squeeze' out this info.
So, I turn the music down, concentrate on the road ahead and using my 'good-mum' voice, I now ask as cooly and nonchalantly as possible:
Me: 'Well..........?'
Prof1: 'Well, there's this girl in my class who really likes me.'

Shock! Horror!!
My first thoughts are: Chineke! OMG!! These girls want to 'corrupt' my little boy who is not even a teenager yet! And by the way, how can a girl even like a boy I still have to remind to comb his hair and tuck in his shirt? Lord help me!!!
 
Outwardly, I remain composed as I maintain my nonchalant air and ask:
Me: 'Mmmmm...which girl is that?'
Prof1: 'Lily*'
Me: 'Did she tell you herself?'
Prof1: 'Her best-friend told me first and then she told me the next day.'
My heart is racing as I imagine the crafty little girls scheming to 'steal' my darling boy. *hissssss*
 
I still remain calm as I ask:
Me: 'Do you understand what she means by saying she likes you very much?'
Prof1: 'I really don't know but she just told me that. I think she wants me to say I like her best in the class'
Me: 'Mmm...Do you like her?'
Prof1: 'No! I don't really like her but I don't want to tell her that because she might be upset!'
My thoughts at this stage: Ewo! My boy is even learning to consider a woman's feelings?! Is this good or bad I wonder?
 
I take a deep breath and continue this conversation:
Me: 'Well, you must not tell her you don't like her. But...you must never say you really like her also!'
Prof1: ...with a quizzical look on his face...... 'MMMMM?....How does that work?'
Me: 'Well, if she tells you she likes you, just say thank you. If she asks whether you like her, be polite and say you like ALL the girls and boys in the class. That way, you won't hurt her feelings.'
Prof1: .....nodding ......'Oh, okay....so basically, I shouldn't lie and I shouldn't hurt her feelings?!
Me: ....smiling.....'Exactly!!'

Well, I thought this issue had been resolved until he returned from school two days later. Taking me to one side, he blurted:
Prof1: 'Mum, Lily* was crying in school today!'
Me: 'Why? What happened?'
Prof1: 'Well, she found out I don't like her'
Me: ...alarmed....'How........?'
Prof1: 'Well, her best-friend asked me if I really liked Lily* and I said 'definitely not!'
Me: 'But I told you not to say that. didn't I?'
Prof1: 'Yes, but I never told Lily, I only answered her best-friend when she asked me.'

OMG.....I look at this boy in wonderment as I now understand how simple men are compared to women!

How could he not have know that Lily* sent her best-friend to quiz him?!
 
*Big sigh* So, this is how the Understanding Women - Lesson 101 was then imparted by me:
Me:.......'Anytime a girl's friend asks you a question, you must assume that (a) the girl sent her to ask the question and (b) whatever answer you give is going straight to the girl. Do you understand?'
Prof1: 'I think so.....So, should I tell Lily* that I might like her a bit?'
Me: 'No!!!! It's better this way. It's best she knows you don't really like her!'
Prof1: 'I thought you said its not nice to tell her I don't like her at all.'
Me: ....sighing.....'I know. But this time, you didnt tell her, her best-friend did. So, its all good!!!'
 
Prof1 walks away shaking his head confusedly. I have to stop myself from laughing out loud as I realise my son must now be thinking how complicated women are..........!
 
Well, do you agree that women are more complicated than men????

(PS: *Lily is not the girl's real name)