Wednesday 19 January 2011

Verbal Lashes (1)

One of the beautiful things about language is the way we express ourselves in different ways.

For example, I can immediately tell whether a speaker is Nigerian if they come up to me and say 'Please, I want to ease myself' instead of 'I would like to use the bathroom, please' LOL

Anyway, I told my son off recently and I ended our conversation by using a pidgin English saying:
Me: 'Anyway, I have finished warning you oh.....who get ear make im hear!'
Cool2: (looking confused) 'Mummy, what did you say?'
Me: (raising my voice)...'I said - who get ear, make im hear! Don't you understand?!'
Cool2: 'I think so mummy. You mean that I should use my ears!'
Me: (calming down) 'Exactly! A word is enough for the wise'
Cool2: (now looking more confused) 'Huh?'
Me: (sighing deeply) 'This means if you are really smart, this one warning I have just given you should be enough or else..............mmmh!'
Cool2: 'Ohhhhhh.....but, mum....I don't mean to be rude, but........'

His remark is cut short as I throw him 'The look.' This is because whenever he says 'I dont mean to be rude'....he usually goes ahead and says something inappropriate - and I have warned him about this, so................

Me: (narrowing my eyes and looking at him closely) 'Yes? Carry on....'
Cool2: 'I don't mean to be rude....but....why do you like saying things like ...'a word is enough for the wise'......?'
Me: 'Because I like them. They are called proverbs or sayings. You will learn to use them as you grow older!'
Cool2: (skeptically) 'Mmmmm'

LOL.....As you can tell, this conversation that was supposed to end with my witty proverb gradually progressed into a lecture about proverbs

Like Cool2, when I was growing up, I was at the recieving end of proverbs, sayings and witty retorts from the older people around me. At that time, this annoyed me because the remarks were often delivered to admonish me or to end a conversation!  Most times, I went away feeling 'emotionally bruised' because I felt I had been verbally lashed - given a 'verbal caning' - by the adult addressing me.

However, I have grown to admire the wit behind most of them - particularly the ones in Pidgin English and my native language. While they were often not welcome in the past, they often did serve as a wake up call!

Here are a few of my favourites sayings/ proverbs in Pidgin English and English (my native language will be too difficult for most to read) - and the situations they were used.

1st fave Proverb/ Saying:
In Pidgin: 'U no fit say make pickin no grow big teeth.......But, u must pray say d pickin go get big lips wey go fit cover d teeth.'
In English: 'One cannot prevent a child from becoming buck-toothed. However, one must pray that his lips are big enough to cover the teeth.'
Situation Used: Whenever - after several warnings - I still went ahead and did something/ insisted on doing something. It's almost like saying - 'As you lay your bed, so you shall lay on it!'
My reaction: Ouch!


2nd Fave Proverb/ Saying:
In Pidgin: ''If u wan advise person and everybody dey say - 'Leave am, leave am, na so im be' -  u go know say de person don dey craze''
In English: 'If you attempt giving out advice to a person and everyone around him says - 'Dont bother, that's the way he is' - that will indicate the  person is beyond redemption!'
Situation used: Whenever I complain that there's too much interference in my life. This proverb is a way of saying that 'If we stop interfering, you can take it that we don't care about you' OR
'We care about you and we believe you can do better, so that is why we interfere.'
My reaction: This is emotional blackmail!  *smile*

3rd Fave Proverb/ Saying:
In Pidgin: 'If u no let people laff you, dem go cry for you.'
In English: 'If you are afraid that people will mock you; then a time will come when they will find you tragic.'
Situation used: Whenever I was supposed to take decisive action about a major life event and I dithered - because I was worried about what 'people' will say. This saying is to let me know that indecision - usually because of fear of failure or people's comments - could have dire consequences.
My reaction: Damn! This is a wake up call!!


4th Fave Proverb/ Saying:
In Pidgin: 'If person dey sleep, d time wey im wake up na im day break for d  person.'
In English: 'Whatever time you do wake up from night sleep - is the time your day begins.'
Situation used: Whenever I had been complaining about things I should have done, could have done or would have done. This saying states that regret is futile. Basically, we all have different paths to personal development so whatever time you do 'Wake up' - is your personal dawn.
For example, a friend who has gone through a bad relationship recently made a difficult life changing decision - to call it quits.
When she opened up to me, she expressed regrets - about wasted opportunities, lost years etc.
However, she concluded our lenghty conversation by sighing and using this saying. The words really empowered her - to accept that while wrong decisions had been made, so long as she was healthy and alive; she still had a chance to achieve so much in life.
My reaction: Too true! 

5th Fave Proverb/ Saying:
In Pidgin: 'No be how bodi dey scratch person na im person dey scratch am.'
In English: 'When you are itchy, it is is not advisable to scratch the itch with the same ferocity with which you feel the itch.'
Situation used: Whenever I have wanted to take drastic action i.e. wanting to angrily confront someone who has been a pain! Basically, this saying is advising one to calm down and think rationally.
My reaction: Easier said than done! *smile*


Oh, I could go on and on and on......that's why I have titled this post No. 1 - because I hope to write a post with all the Pidgin English sayings I know (and add any interesting new ones I come across).

So, I would now like to hear from you - what is your favourite saying/ proverb?....OR....Better still, do tell me any saying/ proverb that has stuck in your head - possibly uttered by your parents, partner, friend, colleague. *eager smile*

33 comments:

  1. growing up, i was always angry when my elders would speak to me in Igbo proverbs. I could never understand them. Now i love them, so much wisdom in them.
    What is your native language?

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  2. LOL at "I don't mean to be rude" and then saying something inappropriate. I don't recall the last time I heard that phrase, lol. I wish yankee kids would even say that one before they say inappropriate things...

    This is my first time of hearing the 5th proverb and I like it a lot. It makes so much sense.

    One of my older sisters used to know so many proverbs. She was like a wikipedia of proverbs and sayings when we were in high school. She no longer says any of them and she has forgotten most.

    Here are some that I like:
    1. When the elephants fight, the grass suffers

    2. Let sleeping dogs lie

    3. The person that poops will forget, but the person who packs away the poop will never forget. (It's not as poignant in English as it is in Yoruba)

    4. What an elder can see while sitting down, a young man can't see while standing. (Another one that is more powerful when said in Igbo).

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  3. Lmao! @ d 1st prover...I love the 5th proverb so much and I always say the 4th one. There's a tortoise proverb my mum usually says to me(I disliked that proverb so much), I can't remember the proverb atm but I usually asked her what a tortoise has to do with me...lol!
    Few proverbs I can remember

    One who lives in a glass house should never throw stones.

    All fingers are not equal.

    Twenty children cannot play together for twenty years.

    A child who doesn't listen to an elders advice would one day use a Raffia basket to fetch water from the stream.

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  4. Word of wisdom from mummy herself. U too gbaski. I have never heard any of these proverbs ooo. the only one I know is 'Ba mi na omo mi, ko de'nu olomo'. Did we grow up in the same country?

    Thumbs up, I learnt a lot, this post has made me wiser.

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  5. My parents do dish it out to us every now & then. some i can remember are;

    1]DEM NO DEY TELL BLIND MAN SAY MARKET DON CLOSE, BY THE TIME HE NO HEAR VOICES, HE GO KNOW!

    2}WHO MARRY CRIPPLE, NAH IM KNOW AS IM DEY TAKE SLEEP WITH AM!

    3}YOU BRING EGUSI FOR ME TO BREAK, THEN WHY NAH MY OWN YOU GO SHOW PEOPLE?

    4}NAH WOMAN NAH NEVA SEE PROBLEM, DEY TAKE HAND DEY HOLD BREAST DEY RUN!

    5}IF WOMAN NO TALL, SHE MUST GET BREAST OR YANSH BECOX SHE NO FIT LOSS 2 THINGS!

    6}FLY NAH NO DEY HEAR WORD, NAH DEY FOLLOW DEAD BODY ENTER GRAVE! OR DOG NAH NO HEAR IT'S MASTER WHISTLE GO LOST!

    7}NAH WHO WEAR SHOE, NAH IM KNOW WHERE IM DEY PAIN!

    8}DEM NO DEY TAKE 10 FINGERS DEY CHOP!/IF PESIN YAM DON DEY DONE FOR FIRE, HE GO DEY TAKE SAND TO COVER AM!

    9}MY OWN, YOUR OWN, & OUR OWN DIFFERENT!/TEETH & TONGUE NO DEY FIGHT O!

    10}EYES NAH DEY CRY, ALSO DEY SEE ROAD O! / AS WE DEY CRY FOR THE DEAD, NAH SO OUR TONGUE DEY COUNT OUR TEETH!

    wow! i had written a post here o!..ahahahaha...no vex ooo my sister...it just came flowing..i had to stop sef:))

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  6. I recognize most of these proverbs but the truth is rarely use them. Maybe when I have small ones I can boss around? LOL....

    Look forward to learning more from here.

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  7. lmao. i can't stop laughing at Ibhade's proverbs. they are soo funny and at the same time so true.

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  8. I love these proverbs, and your son is such a smartie! lol.

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  9. ohh...i so love all these....
    my most favorite of all time...

    IF U SABI POUND, POUND FOR MORTAR.....IF NOT...POUND FOR FLOOR


    PAM AND STILETTO NO BE MATES

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  10. @CHIZZY:
    LOL @ 'growing up, i was always angry when my elders would speak to me in Igbo proverbs'
    Same here!
    I always got angry (secretly of course) at the smug way the elders delivered their proverbs - like 'i don talk my own oh! LOL
    Re: My native language: That's Bini (Edo). However, the old Bendel state was a melting pot of sooo many languages (Ishan, Afemai, Isoko, Urhobo, Itsekiri, Agbor, Ora, Ijaw etc etc) so we ended up speaking pidgin English with others.
    Thanks for stopping by!


    @PRISM:
    Re: "I don't mean to be rude" - The boy is sooo cheeky. One day we were praising his older brother's art-work and he then came in and started his sentence with this phrase....
    We all knew he was going to say something cheeky like - 'Well, I dont think its really that good.'....So we all shouted 'Dont be rude then!'
    We almost died from laughter LOLL

    re: the 5th proverb. True talk, however, I am the first to admit I can 'discharge my cannon' before I realise the enemy was unarmed *sigh* I dey learn sha

    re: Your proverbs..I love the 3rd - 'The person that poops will forget....'
    I've heard it in my language also and its soo much more poignant.

    Again, the 4th - 'What an elder can see while sitting down....' is a powerful one and I have used it for my first son (when he was insisting on something I knew would be a disaster)
    Thanks for taking the time to comment

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  11. @COY:
    Re: The 1st proverb - I can assure you that, as a child; I was tormented by this proverb. Looking back, I can see now that I was quite stubborn because while I was very quiet, I always went ahead and did what my mind was set on *sigh*

    Re your proverbs, my fave is 'Twenty children cannot play together for twenty years.' I hadnt heard of that before but its so true.
    My mum is always asking me about some childhood friends and I keep telling her we've grown apart. The look of incredulity on her face always amazes me because I do believe some friendships can expire. abi?

    Thanks for these.

    @ILOLA:
    Re: 'Word of wisdom from mummy herself.'
    You are tooo kind. The thing is I grew up around old people so I was constantly being bombarded by proverbs and history! Annoying then...but appreciated now!

    Re: your proverb, I will have to ask you to please translate because my Yoruba is only functional (to shop, greet and curse *smile*)

    Re: 'Did we grow up in the same country?' LOLLLL
    Yes oh! I guess the adults around you were kinder! LOL

    Thanks sooo much for dropping by

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  12. @IBHADE:
    Edo girl no dey carry last!!!!!!

    Shio???? You sure say u no be lecturer for Pidgin English? Even me dey fear u oh!

    Abeg! Nothing do u my sistah! Shio see proverbs.

    Abeg, I don learn somthin today!

    As you can tell, I was a bit stubborn as a child, so I hear No 6}FLY NAH NO DEY HEAR WORD, ............' tire....! In short, I can picture my mama put one hand for waist, dey pull her ear dey tell me dis one. LOLLLL

    'DEM NO DEY TELL BLIND MAN SAY MARKET DON CLOSE, BY THE TIME HE NO HEAR VOICES, HE GO KNOW!'
    Gbam!!!
    Now I MUST look for opportunity to use am. In short, my children go tire. LOL

    Thanks so much for these

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  13. @IBHADE:
    PS - I forgot to add that you DO NOT NEED to apologise for the length of your comment.

    I really do look forward to comments - NO MATTER THE LENGTH- and I feel honoured that people who do not even know me can take time out of their day to reply my ramblings.

    So WRITE on sistah.
    No shaking!!!

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  14. @MYNE:
    LOL @'Maybe when I have small ones I can boss around?'......Believe me, you will
    However, I must say that I even used them on my hubby - even before the kids arrived!
    Anytime I dished one out, he would say 'Mmm you really grew up around old people!'
    LOL

    Like I said, I love them now. It was actually Chinua Achebe's use of proverbs that made me fall in love with his writing. When I first read 'Things fall apart', the language he used made me feel like it was a movie in my head! *smile*

    @ 'journey of an evolving lass'
    RE: Ibhade's proverbs: She is killing me here!

    If you translate to English, it wont have the same effect. Loving my Pidgin.
    Thanks for stopping by. I'm off to check out your blog.

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  15. @Jaycee:
    Re: 'your son is such a smartie!' Too true
    I wonder where he got it from?.......*smile*

    I really cant tell but what I do know is that when he's good, its my genes talking. However, whenever he's naughty, na im papa side oh! lol.

    Thanks for stopping by


    @KIKI
    Thanks for the compliment
    Re your proverbs: I'm loving: 'PAM AND STILETTO NO BE MATES'
    Too true!

    Thanks soo much for leaving a comment.

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  16. LWKMD!! I really enjoyed this post.

    Funny enough my parents never really used proverbs on us while i was growing up. But then, in boarding school, i had a roomate who loved proverbs and used to dish them out at every opportunity. A few of her's i can remember:

    The Child who says his mother will not sleep, him too will not sleep

    Monkey dey work, baboon dey chop

    If you beat a child with your left hand, you use your right hand to draw him back to you chest.

    I beleive they are all quite self explanatory : )

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  18. ol @ the irony of your son's statement.

    I can't believe I've never heard any of these wise proverbs before. Where have you been all my life:)

    One of my favorites is.. What a young man can't see standing on the tallest of trees, an old man can see sitting in the lowest of seats.

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  19. lol @ your son's "I don't mean to be rude" comment...

    I love Ibhade's no. 4 proverb...very funny.

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  20. @ MIMI B:
    LOL @'The Child who says his mother will not sleep, him too will not sleep' Very true.

    Re: 'Monkey ......baboon dey chop' That describes every office I know. The laziest ones - who are good psycophants - always get praise.

    Re: 'If you beat a child with your left hand, ............' That's my golden rule for parenting. I dont take nonsense ....but I always call them later to sit beside me! You know I have to remain friends with them as they will take care of me in my old age abi *smile*

    Re: your friend - Sounds like she was from Delta or Edo state?

    Thanks for stopping by



    Re: KOINONIA:
    mmmm....my son is really cheeky. He even leaves speechless sometimes

    *Shock* @'I've never heard any of these wise proverbs before.'
    You must have had really kind parents!!

    Thanks for leaving a comment.

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  21. @JUSTDOYIN:
    mmmm re: my son. I really wish you could hear what he says sometimes. His brothers can vouch for the fact that he is a trouble-maker!

    Re: Ibhade's proverb No. 4. Love it! Although my mum used to drive me mad whenever she used it - as in -
    'So you're complaining for this small thing? You dont know what life is. Mmmm LOL

    Thanks for leaving a comment

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  22. I got this one from a comment by Journey of an evolving lass

    A river that forgets its source will run dry.

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  23. @PRISM:
    I'm liking this oh.
    I think this applies to all Nigerian-born Naija peeps who want to be more westernised than Caucasians.

    I actually think this is the answer to your last post - 'How do you keep your African culture when living abroad?'....What do you think?

    Thanks for this

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  24. LOL.. i dont mean to be rude but... lol its good he says that, it shows he is thinking and he realises what he says might not go down well, unlike some that speak before the think.

    I love proverbs!! I remember once in school, my uniform pocket started tearing, but i could still keep my sweets and all in my pocket. My teacher comes to me and rips the pocket apart saying ' a stitch in time saves nine!' lol i will never forget!

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  25. I love when people express themselves in a language other than english... for I know that language gives people a sense of identity. Your son is cute..I like the fact that he starts with ...I don't mean to be rude....
    www.secretlilies.blogspot.com

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  26. @ ANGELSBEAUTY:
    Mmmmm @'....it shows he is thinking and he realises what he says might not go down well'
    I guess so. Only issue I have with him is that he can come out with some 'bombs'. Well, we are trying to achieve the balance between encouraging honesty + Being diplomatic. :)

    LOL @ 'a stitch in time saves nine!' The teacher was harsh! I wonder if they can do that these days?
    Thanks for that!


    @TAMUNOIBIFRI
    Agree re: '......for I know that language gives people a sense of identity' Too true

    Agree again re: 'Your son is cute' He truly is ....but as they say 'MONKEY NO FINE BUT IM MAMA LIKE AM!' LOL
    I guess I'm biased!

    Thanks for dropping by

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  27. wehave so may of the ones already listed in my language too, i guess, Nigerian languages and cultures might be somewhat intertwined or maybe the values..

    This comes out better in my language but i'll just state it in English - IT HAS FALLEN ON MY HEAD, IT HAS FALLEN ON MY HEAD, WHEN THEY TOLD YOU TO MOVE FROM UNDER THE COCONUT TREE, YOU IT IS THERE THAT THE SLEEP IS SWEET.( I always imagined coconut falling on someone's head when my mom used it but you know it would only be funny if you're not the one reprimanded..lol

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  28. @ BETRAYED:
    LOL @ your proverb.
    I can imagine my mum telling me that in my language.
    You're right about it being funny when its someone else LOL

    Thanks for that. I have to use it on my kids (in pidgin). I'm sure they really 'love' me for that!

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  29. Lol, the proverbs are so on point!

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  30. @Northern Girl:
    Thanka. I hope you enjoyed them!

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  31. Yes I did very much. Thank you for stopping by :)

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  32. I just love this:D. Let me recall a few since you have listed the most i know. 1. Wetin konsine agberou wit overload. 2. Fly wey ney dei hear word na im dey follow shit ( or dead bodi) enter ground. 3. Monkey no fine but im mama like am. And my own invention 4. person wey get dog na im dey pack im dog shitm pidgin is our heritage, we must preserve it.

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  33. Not sure if I can leave a comment on such an old post but Ibhade's reply cracked me up especially no. 4: }NAH WOMAN NAH NEVA SEE PROBLEM, DEY TAKE HAND DEY HOLD BREAST DEY RUN!.... lol.

    One of my favourite is "didake ekun ki se ti ojo" "the fact that the lion is quiet is not cowardice".
    www.bukkyapampa.com

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