A lecture from my son

Apologies for the long absence. Unfortunately, other commitments (work, kids, family etc) have distracted me from writing.........*smile*

Something on my mind:

Whenever I get together with old friends, there’s nothing we like to do than eat, drink and have a good old chinwag (leisurely chat / gossip)

Invariably, we end up arguing/discussing Nigeria – especially about politics and our plans to return home. This happens on a regular basis as we always meet up with friends every other week.

You can only imagine my surprise when after one such visit – and chinwag – my first son came up to me:

Prof1: ‘Mum, why do you always talk about going back to Nigeria’
Me: ‘Because that’s where I grew up and I would love to return there when I’m older because the weather is warm and there’s so much help around you’
Prof1: ‘Help?’
Me: ‘Yes…..I have more relatives there so there are more people to help me with things that I might need. For example, shopping, house-keeping….’
Prof1: (empathically) ‘Well, you are not going back!’
Me: (taken aback) …..’I’m not leaving now…I mean later….when I’m older…..’
Prof1: ‘I know. You cannot go back.’
Me: (confusedly) ‘Why?’
Prof1: ‘..Because you have to stay here to take care of my children!’
Me: (smiling) ‘Ohhh…Well, I’ll come here in summer and leave in winter…How about that?’
Prof1: ‘No, that wont work!
Me: (laughing) ‘What about nursery for them?’
Prof1: (seriously) ‘They’ll go to nursery for two days and come to you for three days!’
Me: (now speechless) ‘Emmm…….’
Prof1: ‘Seriously mum, you really have to stay here all year. I will tell my wife to drop my children here on her way to work because I want them to eat jollof rice and sleep in my old bed!’
Me: (stuttering in shock) ….’Em…..okay!’

This conversation surprised me because I really did not think kids could plan that far ahead. I was impressed!

However, it did get me thinking about the fact that one of our (immigrants) biggest challenges here is childcare. Nursery fees are exorbitant to say the least and take a huge chunk out of young families’ pay packet. In fact, I can honestly say that childcare is one of the reasons young families - who have no other family members living close by - struggle to save or invest for their future.

The support of family is a blessing when you have young children. Indeed, I was very conscious of this when my kids were much younger – For example, at one time, I had two kids in nursery at the same time – this cost us a minimum of £250 per week!

I now hear that nursery fees have even increased and this amount is now a distant memory.

Considering, I had 3 different children passing through nursery over the course of 8 years – one can only imagine how much went on nursery fees! I cannot count the number of times I moaned about the fact that my mum could not come over to help (my parents are quite elderly)

So,
My son got me thinking……If I do return back to Nigeria…am I not leaving my kids to go through the same childcare challenge I went through? Is that fair? Even, am I kidding myself that I will definitely return to Nigeria when I get older?

Do tell me:
If you live abroad, do you see yourself returning to your home country anytime soon…..
OR
If you don’t live abroad - even with all the challenges you hear those abroad face - would you consider relocating to Europe, US etc if you had a chance?

PS –
I would like really honest answers, so I have decided to allow anonymous comments for a week. Thanks