Follow Follow

Some tings dey tire me oh.............................Somethings really make me throw my hands up in the air and just say - 'I GIVE UP !'

One such thing is some people's ability to follow EVERY trend - without putting two brain cells together to ask themselves whether the trend even makes sense. Here are few examples of 'Follow Follow' that have left me in a state of wonderment.

(1) STUPID TATTOOS / TATTOOS ON VERY DARK SKIN

Rapper Gucci Mane (www.dailymail.co.uk)

My people what's the point? I have noticed some Naija people with very dark complexions getting tattoos that no-one can ever notice.......and the tattos end up looking like keloids. 

Some of them say they love tattoos because they are addicted to pain. My brothers and sisters if you desire pain.......one week in Kirikiri prison should help.

More surprising, I have seen Naija peeps with tattoos in a foreign language they don't even understand...... I kid you not.  For example, I was at a party in London one day, when I noticed a tattoo on one cute Naija babe's back. On closer inspection, I noticed the tattoo was in a language I couldn't read. 

Me: "What does that say dear?"

Girl (looking smug): "Oh my tat? It says 'God loves me - in Hindi"

Me: mmm (biting my tongue so as not to say something sarcastic)

My people, in Hindi oh!............................ Yoruba dey there, Ibo dey there, Hausa nko? Bini biko....even Pidgin sef !!! FOLLOW FOLLOW !

(2) LEGGINGS AS TROUSERS

Source: blogs.sundaymercury.net

Since leggings came back into fashion, the things my eyes have seen.....my mouth cannot even utter. I love, love fashion and I see it as a good way to express oneself. But.....there are limits oh!

Everytime I go out, I see all sorts of shapes and sizes in leggings - worn as trousers. If the person wearing it is a very young girl with a petite shape, the sight is a bit bearable. 

However, I keep on seeing some of my African sisters with heavy ikebe (backside) parading London in leggings they wear as trousers. I pity the poor leggings because I feel they must be begging for mercy - as they have stretched so much, lycra, cotton and nylon must don separate. (The lycra, cotton and nylon components must have gone their separate ways)

PS - I dont even want to get started on how many camel toes and cellulite puddings I have been accosted with.  Please oh...........FASHION TREND + FOLLOW FOLLOW = EYE SORE !!!!

(3) NAIJA CELEBS POUTING

Source: www.fotosearch.com

*pouting = To push one's lips or one's bottom lip forward as an expression of petulant annoyance or in order to make oneself look attractive**

Whenever I look at pics of 'Naija celebrities' -especially Nollywood actresses; I have noticed that quite a lot of them seem to pout whenever they pose for pictures. I really do not understand this trend.

A lot of caucasians pout (to make their lips appear bigger) because their lips are usually thinner than those of Africans..........HOWEVER, my brothers and sisters, you all know that we (Africans) are not lacking in that department. LOL

So please tell me why oh why, our so-called celebs have to copy this also. Abeg, una 'facial kpomo' dey sufficient.....................no need for enhancement oh !!! 

Even sef, how many Naija men dey look girl lips as the most attractive feature for im bodi ? Most men I know dey focus on the girl Face, Nkiru or her Azuka !! LOL

(Translation: How many Nigerian men actually fall for a girl because of her lips? Most men are initially attracted by a girl's face, boobs or backside !!)

(4) PUBLIC DISPLAY of AGBAYAISM

Just like the ladies who wear leggings as trousers; I cannot understand why a grown man will want to show his underwear in public.

This trend is bad enough on teenagers .......but when I see it on a grown man; I conclude the person must be an Agbaya (old fool).  The only time a man should display his underwear in public is when he is about to swim OR he is being paid to model them. Finito 

Honestly, whenever I see an adult with sagging jeans and boxers on show in public; all I can think about is solied nappies/ diaper.

This is one of those trends that separates those WITH and WITHOUT common sense. Call me old fashioned, but this trend is gross !

(5) EYELASHES AS BROOMS

Source: http://izismile.com/

Long eyelashes can make a woman look even more beautiful so I totally understand the current trend of having false eyelashes fixed.

However, some of these eyelashes can only be called 'Health and Safety' hazards'.  How do you know you have fixed a hazard on your eyes?.....: 

- If your lashes are long enough to braid......you are in trouble. 

- If they hamper your vision, ditto;

- If the whole day seems like 24 hours nightime.................you have to advice yourself seriously.

My people ........................I no fit shout. According to my people:........... FLY WEY NO DEY HEAR WORD, GO FOLLOW DEAD BODY ENTER GRAVE (The fly that refuses to heed advice will end up in a grave with a corpse)

This post reminded me of a lovely video I saw last year: 'Follow Follow' by Nigerian musician 'Gaise'. A lot of what he says makes real sense. Watch and enjoy: