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I beg to differ because I have come across so many Naija children visiting the UK from Nigeria - who do not have basic manners. Just to simply open their mouths and say - 'Good morning' or 'Good afternoon' seems to be too much effort. If this happened to me only once, I would say this was a one off. However, I have met several children like this. What is going on?
Only recently three children visited us. After eating, they left their plates on the table - expecting me to tidy up after them. Again, when they finished eating popcorn, they left my living room trashed. Their mum acted as if nothing was happening. I was DISGUSTED. So, you can imagine my surprise when - after they got back to Nigeria - the mother called my hubby to say they (herself and her husband) were thinking of sending their eldest to a London university - and whether the boy could stay with us. I calmly told my husband 'God forbid !!!..........Even if I am paid to host him, I rather starve!!!!
While I don't agree with the old school style of 'authoritarian/ restrictive parenting; I do appreciate the fact that one of the first things our parents taught us was to always greet elders and visitors. Is this now old-fashioned?
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Why are some women so caught up with this weave-or-no-weave argument?
Whether you wear a weave or not does not change the fact that people are dying from hunger and war OR that people are struggling to eat or feed their family. Some women wear fake tans, others fake nails, others get plastic surgery. I don't think it is an issue. Basically, live and let live.
The fact that you have natural hair does not make you more African than the lady with weave. If you truly want to fly the flag for Africa, please make sure you don't wear any 'western type clothing' - jeans included; hand over your UK/US etc passport and return 'home'; do not use any foreign cosmetics and please, please, please do not speak English !
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I cannot count the number of times I have asked a child (aged 6-12 years) what their favourite channel is. Only for them to say 'MTV Base'. I'm sorry, but I have to say that MTV Base is not for children.
Some of the musical videos can only be classed as 'soft-porn'. Little minds are shaped by what they see and hear. If a child watches videos of half-naked women gyrating everyday, he is likely to think that is the way women should behave - and that women are only good for sex. MTV Base and musical videos are not ideal viewing for children. Unfortunately, it seems some parents confuse stupidity for enlightenment..
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When the film 'Living in Bondage' came out in 1992, I was particularly impressed because - as a movie lover - it was great to see an indigenous movie that delivered a credible story line with a strong moral message. However, as much as I like to be patriotic, I have to say that most Naija movies - especially those in English - just do not make sense any more.
I am not a very fluent speaker of the Yoruba language but I now choose to watch mainly Yoruba films -because they usually end with a strong moral message. It sems the ones in English are so focused on filming opulent houses, half-dressed girls, flashy cars and fake American/ British accents - to even bother with a story line. By the way, where do the accents come from. My friends, I have lived in the UK for over 15 years and my accent is still 100% Naija. No even try my Pidgin. LOL
Recently, I watched a fantastic Bollywood film - 'My Name is Khan'. This film took approximately £1 million in the weekend it opened in the UK. Similarly, in the US, it took £1.4 million over the four-day holiday weekend it opened there. These figures only go to show that if one makes a good film and uses a credible film distributor, the sky is the limit. Nollywood (English speaking especially)....abeg, make una wake up oh. I am sick of trying to make sense of your movies.
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I am a very optimistic person and as a Christian, my faith enables me hope that things will always improve. However, there are occasions that one has to create a clear distinction between food for the mind, food for the body and food for the soul.
Examples of three people that might seek one's help:
(1) A single mother comes to you and says she has lost her job and does not know how she will cope with her rent, her child, feeding etc. She is really down and confused
(2) A lady comes to you and says she is confused about her faith. She attends a church which is quite vibrant, however, she has increasingly become disillusioned with the church as she has now found out that a lot of the elders are not practising what they preach
(3) A young man comes up to you and says that he is depressed because he is sick of his job. He wants to go back to university to retrain but he is scared because he now has a young family to take care of.
I'm sure you'll agree that these are three different scenarios. Different needs, different circumstances. However, quite a lot of Naija peeps will answer all these queries with ..................'It shall be well'.
A lot of us use religion as a replacement for common sense. A hungry man does not need a Bible passage. Feed him first before you start preaching. Sometimes, what a depressed/ worried/ lost person needs is support and love first. Start with that .........before you start bombarding them with inspirational quotes and Bible passages.
PHEW...................Was that too much of a rant? LOL
If you are still with me, do let me know your thoughts on anything I touched on.......OR....let me know what has been making you ranty recently.
Have a blessed week
xoxoxoxox
Haha serendipity!!! I am first..dancing a jig
ReplyDeleteI just saw your title on a blogroll 'rants?' I had to fly over to find out who dey vex my woman, make I samma am one blow.. lol
I hate the "it shall be well" comment with a passion, especially when I know the person saying it is capable of doing something that could solve the problem.
ReplyDeleteAbout the weave vs. no weave, natural hair vs. relaxed, it shouldn't be a big deal, but you know how we roll as black people. We always have to divide ourselves... light skin vs. dark skin... etc, but it goes back to slavery and the field slave vs. house slave. So in some ways I guess we can pull the "blame oyibo" people card on this one ;-p
About African-raised vs. abroad-raised children's behavior, hmmm... There has been times when I believed African-raised kids behave better, respect wise. When I was a Sunday school teacher, the kids who just came from Africa were usually more respectful and well behaved, but they tended to not be as creative or opinionated as the abroad-raised... :-/
About Nollywood movies, their titles alone is enough to make you cringe: blackberry babes, anyone? As painful and pointless as some of them are, they still manage to tell our stories, so I have to give congratulate them for that.
Now over to your rant...
ReplyDeleteCosign! Well behaved kids are first becoming extinct in Naija. Blame it on copy copy and private schools and yuppie parents who have left the schools and MTV base to train their children.
lol@ your fa fa fa foul about fostering student. Mama wan transfer the training to you mscheeew.
Wig or no wig - You wan transfer the fight on TWP blog here? I no fit talk o. I love the versatility of African hair be it natural, straightened or be-wigged. But in the end, it is just hair.
Don't get me started on the TV thing. refer back to my first answer. I wish parents would go back to books. Better a house filled with books than one filled with DVDs. I learnt all the lessons I needed for growing up from my parents, siblings, bedtime stories and Enid Blyton. just saying
Aww, you watched My name is Khan. lovely lovely movie. Lookout for 3 Idiots. A must for parents about forcing kids to study courses they don't want. My Indian friend back in Nigeria revived my love for Bollywood and girl!, they are bigger and better. Though they have become more Westernised, they have still managed to retain all that is good about their culture, dressing , singing, religion. There is a lesson to be learnt no matter how cheesy.
Sadly same can't be said for Nollywood. They desperately need an influx of new money and new blood. I think I have teased Myne about it. Blogville writers should look into writing for TV. Seriously.
It is well is simply another way of saying 'I do not want to get involved'.
Abeg NIL, no drink panadol over all this jagba jantis. Have a great week!
@Ginger
ReplyDeleteLOL @'dancing a jig'
Noo re 'who dey vex my woman, make I samma am one blow' Nobody vex me oh. All's good
Hope all is well with you too.
I just came over from your blog. Good post.
@Prism
LOL @ "it shall be well" comment with a passion.... *high five*
As you said it is even more annoying when you know 'the person saying it is capable of doing something that could solve the problem'
True
*Nodding my head* re: 'We always have to divide ourselves'
LOL...abeg dont blame oyinbo on this one oh. We have more serious things to blame them for
*Interesting* re'....the kids who just came from Africa were usually more respectful and well behaved' .....I guess the fact that they were in Sunday school is a clue about the kind of parents they have. Unfortunately, the newly-arrived ones I have encountered are initially timid then they are often the worst behaved on public transport or in public spaces later. I guess they want to show that they are 'happening'
I see your point re: 'As painful and pointless as some of them are, they still manage to tell our stories'....True...I'm only pleading for a story line and less fake accents. LOL
Have a good week
@Ginger:
ReplyDeleteThank you re 'Well behaved kids are first becoming extinct in Naija'
I tire oh my sistah. As you said 'private schools and yuppie parents' seem to have lost the plot
Who be TWP???? Agree re: ....'it is just hair'
Yes, re TV. You mentioned MTV Base and it is sooo true. You mentioned books, but how many of the parents read themselves? I grew up reading because I was sorrounded by books - and my father was constantly reading. Children pick up examples.
My name is Khan was fab, fab, fab. I'll def watch out for 3 Idiots. Yes, Bollywood is def getting 'bigger and better'....and like you said, they 'have still managed to retain all that is good about their culture, dressing , singing, religion'. A lesson for us. I do agree that we need more writers. However, I wonder whether backers will be patient enough to fund well directed/ produced movies.
LOL @'It is well is simply another way of saying 'I do not want to get involved' I seee
Okay, I no drink panadol over all these. I will take ibuprofen instead. LOL
Have a good week
As in... This post makes sense! What's with this new natural vs relaxed hair war abeg! And i remember Living in Bondage, Rattlesnake, etc. Those were the days Nollywood made things with substance!
ReplyDeleteAdiya
Spoilt kids are spoilt kids, irrespective of where they are brought up. I guess what people mean is that it is easier for kids to get more spoilt outside Nigeria since they get less exposed to the African culture
ReplyDeleteLol at your rant about the natural hair thing. My hair is 100% natural. I just refused to relax it after I cut of my dread locks. I love it that way but I would not advise anyone to do it unless they are really determined because caring for natural hair is 10 times harder than caring for relaxed hair. Plus, I hate fixing. I had to fix when I went to the UK and I didn't like ie. Niways, Natural or relaxed, it is a personal decision.
If some parents knew the damage being done to their kids' minds due to what they watch, they will cry. Such things shape a kids mindset forever. What a pity
Nollywood is just crap. I wouldn't even waste my time on them.
'It is well'. Oh how I hate that statement. I hate is so so much. I believe it is a statement that people make when someone presents a situation that more than they are willing to handle. Of course, I know it is well, that is why I am presenting my problem to you. I need a solution not a motivational statement. Eeeewww
Great post!
ReplyDeleteAbout the accent thing, it's kinda complicated from what I have noticed. I have a friend who's only lived in Nigeria the first 2 years of his life, although he visits every 2 years, but his accent is very Nigerian while mine is barely there. My sisters don't even sound Nigerian anymore.
I think people lose their accents at different rates, and especially if you left when you're really quite young.
LOL @ the post..I was tryin to put a face to the mother of the owner of the school bag in the bag meme..:)
ReplyDeleteI think when it comes to behaviour it goes both ways.. I have seen crazy naija kids straight from home and crazy oyibo born nigerian.. I gues it comes down to the upbringing.. I notice it among the ajebutter kids who relocate outside Nigeria, sometimes the not so ajebutter who are tryin to belong tend to act up like the wannabe idols..Moreso, I have seen oyibo born Nigerian kids that are very respectful that you wonder are they not suppose to be disrespectful as per the stereotype of them..Well its good you put a stop to something that you cant deal with..Save that strenght for your kids if they act up..
As for the weave or no weave, to each is own..whatever floats your boat..When I have cash I rock the weave but if no money I rock my own hair..Its not everytime I have money to dash hairdresser and hair supply stores.. just saying.
As for mtv base watching kids, I wonder sha.talkless of 9yr olds that are on facebook..I am trying to understand that part..If a parent dont train his/her child, the world will.. Life is a matter of choice, if you dont make a choice, someone will make it for u..
Nollywood, gollywood, southywood, zimbowood, zambiwood, camerolywood..What happen to the days of telling true stories that connects us to our people and culture and still gives lesson.I got tired of seeing men run butt naked in movie trailers or young beauties opening their jaguar all in the name of movies..I settled for movies recommended by people or read comments in regards to that movie..
Uhmm NIL sooriiee sorry pele ndo ehmm and every language for taking so much space..ha! my hand is paining me oh (*in a 2year old voice*)
Have a wonderful week..xx
I think people say platitudes because they don't know what else to say. I definitely agree with you that there are very ill mannered kids in Nigeria. I firmly believe that even though the environment might influence kids, at the end of the day, the parents are responsible for raising the kids. I know many well behaved kids were born and raised in the states.
ReplyDeleteHow a child behaves is down to the way the parents train them. I also though Children raised in an African setting are better behave but i'm not convinced anymore
ReplyDeleteAbout the whole hair thing. I laughed so hard @ "...does not change the fact that people are dying from hunger and war..." I don't get why there is even an issue. Anyone whoe think that how your hair is make you more african has missed the boat.
I watche My name is Khan yesterday on T.V with my dad and we were so impressed. My dad kept wondering why we'd never hear about this film I actually did not realise it was a bollywood film till i did some "googling". Nollywood take note
I'd rather watch a yoruba film cuz at weather the story line makes sense or not I would have been entertained. After watching most Nigerian English films i feel like i've wasted 3 hours of my life.
Sometime people can over "scripturalise" things chai!N.I.L let me not even get started on this one o otherwise i'll be here till tomorrow.
I agreed (in principle) with everything you wrote. I found myself nodding all through.
ReplyDeleteThe children (me saying children when I'm barely out of nappies meself) who come over from Nigeria are probably a better reflection of the privileged few rather than the majority.
It annoys me that there is now Yoruba Nollywood. What irks me the most has to be the sexualisation of Nollywood. I remember times where kissing on screen was a big deal, now they're all half naked and simulating sex. I know Nigerian films have always had part 1 and 2, but taking over 4hrs to tell an incomplete story is incompetent!
I think the 'it shall be well' line is a reflex when you have no idea how to deal with a situation thrust on you. Just like saying bless you when you hear someone sneeze even if you can't see the person.
we really need to vet what our kids watch ... the things on tv these days even turn me off as an adult. we need to fill our kids with positive thots ...
ReplyDelete"it is well" ..lol
mmm interesting..well i think Nigeria has a strong culture that emphasizes morals and respect for elders compared to the western culture. That doesnt mean that u cnt find kids that lack moral training in nigeria as well as well brought-up kids in western countries cos at the end of the day, it boils dwn to home training.
ReplyDeleteNaija mum for kids, Ps.78...let our children be taught about God(and taught good manners), it will censor what they value,watch,say/act and how they live even with people.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes true religion is not just doling out the word or putting one off with a "sacred phrase" but acting in L♥√ع ...lending a helping hand to the downtrodden,weak and poor.
Nna you really D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣ ramble hia o! Omo...lol
TWP-Third World Profashional.
ReplyDeleteYou said - "However, I wonder whether backers will be patient enough to fund well directed/ produced movies?"
But why wont they? My own is let's even start with acting well written movies, coherent story lines, and good grammar be it English or the local languages. Good directing will surely follow..Amen
Shweshhh!!! .....OOOO Naijamum... you make sense oo. lots. hummm@ the kids, ha, you are a cool headed person o, if that was my mum, she would have told them off right there and then.
ReplyDelete@Nollywood movies, please don't get me started, they don't try on most of them.
@Hair drama, tell them ooo. hahha... I am keeping my natural hair because it's better for the weather in Canada, it grows better. I am not trying to prove a point, Natural hair or weave, it doesn't make you better jor.
I agree with everything u said!
ReplyDeleteThe notion that naija raised children r better then otha children is WRONG!!!
Nollywood English movies are the WORST!!!
Parents are irresponsible these days MTV Base is not for kids, I can't even handle the content sometimes...sheesshhh..soft porn for sure
And the "it will be well" phase is not the answer for everything.. Christians and the "language" hiss
i can not watch a yoruba movie. they are either insulting igbo people or making some tribalistic comment or going to babalawo. i just can't.
ReplyDeletei think you are not watching the right english movies because nollywood is really doing it big but all of those movies now come out in cinemas in nigeria than the usual straight too dvd movies which is why they are hard to find.
about the hair: just one more thing to divide black people isn't it?
Our "it is well" syndrome is a result of needing to use our faith for basic things. Perhaps that's why atheism is not very popular back home. You need to call God for electricity, for healthcare even when you want to head out, you have to pray for God to deliver you from Lastma and hungry policemen :O)
ReplyDeleteThat hair matter ehn?! I don't get why folks are getting brain aneurysms ontop the matter!! My own is that NO ONE has the right to impose their views on others. If you like, grow your armpit hair till you can weave it, as long as you don't bring the stink near me, na you sabi. Just don't get on a soapbox acting all "deep" and "in touch with your inner spiritual self", using words like "defective" to describe me because I choose to relax my hair. Truth is, going natural is my own interpretation of doing follow follow, so #team relaxer for life mehn :P
When I gave the hubby all the hair gist, he first said "women sha! you people have time!" then he chuckled and said "tell the people who hat relaxer not to use body lotion or nail polish or deodorant. Those things are not natural"
Interesting observations. Children are children, it's down to their parents...
ReplyDeleteAnyone can do whatever they like with their hair. Donkey hair Weavers should not look down on naturals and vice versa. (I have my reservations about 'permists' , though;-) We should all appreciate our nappy hair and learn to carry it well! Lol.
My one and only NaijaMum!
ReplyDeleteAgain you hit the nail on the head..help me beg these people that carry weave/relaxer debate on top of their heads, its a PERSONAL choice, I'm not deeply unhappy with my heritage if I decide to wear a weave or relax my hair, I JUST LIKE IT THAT WAY!
I 100% agree with you on the English movies. Mr Lashes isn't Yoruba but he watches them with me too, they just make more sense. The English ones usually give the whole plot away with the singing and the titles are just silly. 'Widow', Final Widow, 'Ultimate Widow'. Abeg, I tire!
Please, can you rant often? I enjoyed this!
ReplyDeleteand I sooo looove 'My Name is Khan' I've seen the thing like a gazillion times already!
@Adiya
ReplyDeleteThanks dear re 'This post makes sense!'
The hair debate don tire me oh.
So you remember Living in Bondage etc *sigh* Those were the days oh
Have a blessed week
@ilola
*Nodding my head* re: 'Spoilt kids are spoilt kids, irrespective of where they are brought up'
I agree. My beef is with people who make sweeping statements - dismissing kids brought up abroad.
Regarding natural hair, I agree with you that it is not easy to maintain - especially when it is long. Beauty comes in different forms, so we should all live and let live so I'm with you re: 'it is a personal decision'
Totally agree with you re: 'Such things shape a kids mindset forever'
*Gasp* re: 'Nollywood is just crap' - surely not all. I have watched some that have made me truly proud :)))
LOLLLLL re 'It is well'. Oh how I hate that statement. I hate is so so much' You will not kill me Ilola LOLL
Like you said, the query usually needs a practical solution.
As usual, Ilola, your comments have made me think and smile. Do have a beautiful week
@ Boma
Glad you liked the post
Regarding the accent thing, I am totally with you when you said 'I think people lose their accents at different rates, and especially if you left when you're really quite young'
Boma, my beef is not with those who have stayed here. No, no, no. My rant is aimed at those Nollywood actors who have never left Naija but choose to twist their tongues to emulate people they see on MTV and BBC. I referred to my accent because I was trying to point out that if I have stayed here for over 15 years and still have a naija accent, how can a Naija born/ bred/ resident have a UK/ US accent.
Boma, how e go possible? LOL
Abeg, have a blessed week
@Unveilinggold
ReplyDeleteThanks UG...So, you liked my son's bag?
No shaking, it's designer oh....send me £100 and I'll post it to you. LOL
Totally agree re '.....sometimes the not so ajebutter who are tryin to belong tend to act up like the wannabe idols..'
So true oh. LOL
Yes, I saved my energy for my own kids. I cant be dealing with a spoilt teenager - when I have 3 young kids to deal with
Regarding weave issue - I like your practicality my sister.
Gbam re 'talkless of 9yr olds that are on facebook..' My son keeps telling me he wants to go on FB and he keeps on listing all his friends who are on FB. I told him that they are on FB becos they dont have me as their mum. He was not impressed. LOLLLL
LOLLLL ....you no go kill person re 'Nollywood, gollywood, southywood, zimbowood, zambiwood, camerolywood..'
Yes, the days of real story telling have given way to soft porn and fake swagger. Like you I don tire for watery plots and I only watch recommended films.
Why are you apologising for 'taking so much space' ...? My post was long and you read it abi?
Thanks sooo much for taking the time to leave such insightful - and funny - comments. Hope all is well with you. Be strong you hear? *pulling my ears and speaking in stern mum voice*
Have a blessed week :)))
@Sting
Yup re 'people say platitudes because they don't know what else to say'
Like you I also believe that 'the parents are responsible for raising the kids'
Couldnt have put it better myself. I know off several families with beautifully behaved kids over here. I use them as my role models.
Hope all is well with you?
Thanks for dropping by
@Scarlet
Like you, I always used to think that 'Children raised in an African setting are better behaved'....however, some have made me rethink my stance.
My sistah, *high five* re: 'Anyone who thinks that how your hair is makes you more african has missed the boat' Not only boat mys siter, ship sef LOL
OHHHHH You watched 'My name is Khan' yesterday. Great. I'm glad you liked it. I only heard about it through a friend.
LOL @'After watching most Nigerian English films i feel like i've wasted 3 hours of my life'
Gbam re 'people can over "scripturalise" things chai!'......where u dey go now.....LOL @ 'let me not even get started on this one o otherwise....'
Come back now...come back *shouting and running after you - Naija woman style* LOL
Thanks for taking the time to comment. I hope you have a blessed week
@Abosede
ReplyDeleteLOL @ 'me saying children when I'm barely out of nappies meself' ....
*Nodding my head* re: 'children who come over from Nigeria are probably a better reflection of the privileged few rather than the majority'
Aaah.....that makes sooo much sense
It annoys you that there is now Yoruba Nollywood? Why...please do tell.
Like you, I get frustrated about them 'taking over 4hrs to tell an incomplete story'
LOL @''Just like saying bless you when you hear someone sneeze even if you can't see the person'
I guess so...but it annoys the he*l out of me LOL
Thanks for dropping by. Much appreciated.
Have a blessed week
@lani
True talk re'we need to fill our kids with positive thots'
I guess we underestimate how delicate their minds are :((((
Re 'it is well'...you are laughing? It really annnoys me. LOL
Thanks for dropping by
@kitkat
Yes, I agree that 'Nigeria has a strong culture that emphasizes morals and respect for elders compared to the western culture'
However, money makes a lot of people ignore what is right and wrong. For example, I cannot tell you how many times I have seen a rich young man disrespect a poor old man in Naija.
Yes oh 'it boils dwn to home training' True talk
Hope you are enjoying Naija? Please DHL me some suya
xoxoxox
@enybees-hub
ReplyDeleteThanks for the passage. I'll check it out.
Like you said, ' it will censor what they value,watch,say/act and how they live even with people'
Again, I like what you said re: 'true religion is not just doling out the word or putting one off with a "sacred phrase"'.....Being Christlike I would say abi? True talk
Yes, I ramble today. My head get too many tings wey I get to troway comot. LOL
Have a blessed week
@ Ginger
Re 'TWP-Third World Profashional......'
Aaaaah....I will ceck it/them out
Re backers....you said 'let's even start with acting well written movies, coherent story lines, and good grammar be it English or the local languages' True talk. That will be a good start.
Have a blessed week and thanks for coming back
@9jaFOODie
LOL @ 'Shweshhh!!!' .....u sure say u no be Waffi gal?????
LOL @ 'if that was my mum, she would have told them off right there and then' .....I like to give people a long rope so when I scatter - as in display domestic craze - they will know that I have been patient. LOL
Feel you on Nollywood. Re: Hair drama....'Natural hair or weave, it doesn't make you better jor' Abeg tell them oh. Tell them oh.
LoL
Have a great week and keep cooking.
Blessing
ReplyDeleteThank you oh re 'the notion that naija raised children r better then otha children is WRONG'
'Nollywood English movies are the WORST' - Harsh but fair LOL
Gbam re 'soft porn for sure'
LOL @'Christians and the "language"' I feeel your hisss LOL. Hope all is well with you?
@leggy
Totally disagree re ' .... they are either insulting igbo people or making some tribalistic comment' I have watched quite a few on TV and I have to say they make more sense than the english speaking ones. I'm not saying they are ALL perfect - just that they are much better than the alternative.
Agree with you re 'just one more thing to divide black people isn't it?' My dear, I feel you on that. Unfortunately, we seem to love these divisions dont we? Sad though.
@Gbemi
Welcome back.
I understand re '......a result of needing to use our faith for basic things'
LOL @'You need to call God for electricity, for healthcare even when you want to head out, you have to pray for God to deliver you from Lastma and hungry policemen :O)'
You no go kill person LOLLLLL
Regarding hair ....ewwww re'If you like, grow your armpit hair till you can weave it, as long as you don't bring the stink near me, na you sabi'
I hear you oh re 'acting all "deep" and "in touch with your inner spiritual self", using words like "defective" to describe me.....' I tire oh. Your hubby's answer cracked me up. As always, the men take a simple view on everything, We seem to complicate stuff.
Abi I lie?
Hope all is well with you and yours. Stay blessed my dear sister.
@Adura
Agree re:'Children are children, it's down to their parents'
Re: 'Donkey hair Weavers should not look down on naturals and vice versa' I would say calling it 'donkey hair' is looking down on weave wearers..what do you think?? :)
Regarding nappy hair...yes we appreciate it but not everyone's nappy hair is easy to manage. To each his own abi.
Have a fab week.
@Lashes
My one and only Lashes...How are you my personal person?
My sister oh....this weave/relaxer debate no easy at all, at all. See me see wahala. LOL
Abeg preach oh re 'I JUST LIKE IT THAT WAY!'
LOL @ ''Widow', Final Widow, 'Ultimate Widow''
Oh, I cannot believe this is Monday morning and I am laughing this hard. This is better than wine....'ULTIMATE WIDOW' LOL...Like saying 'FINAL DEATH' YOU wan kill me with laughter.
Lashes oh!
Thanks so much for dropping by. Seriously, I have been laughing so hard xoxox
@RemiRoy
How are you.
Hoipe all is well with you.
Re ' rant often?' I'll try....I'm trying not to be too confrontational LOL
Oh you love 'My Name is Khan'? Fab wasnt it. Sooo touching.
Thanks for dropping by Remi. Take care of yourself
I like this rant jor! It shall be well to every problem! Someone comes to you for solution and all you can say is , it is well. The person never chop for 2 days and you say it is well! so annoying. As for those natural vs weave people, na dem sabi. I rock my weave in whatever form it comes and i rock my hair as well so nuttin spoil. Having natural hair doesnt make u prettier . Children without manners cannot live with me oh, thats the sad case these days but i will not have it in my house. Yoruba movies are the way forward now oh,...i recommend them anytime
ReplyDeleteLOL naija mum has had it..enough is enough abi..lmao..i couldnt agree more with most of what you've said o jare...the hair drama just makes me shake my head like some people are VERY serious about it.
ReplyDeletei usually jejely stick to my yoruba movies and whenever i eventually try to force myself to watch an english movie i just stop half way...i also choose the kind of nollywood movies to watch depending on the actors.
Have a great week nil!
Whaaaaaaaaat a rant!
ReplyDeleteThe way children behave is primarily a reflection of the type of home training they have. It used to be a Nigerian thing but not any more. Its now a family thing!
Our individual differences would not be isolated from the issue of accents. Some take it up easily while others don't
I've always believed that the hood does not make the monk. Being proud of ones roots as an African and standing up to it go a long in showing ones Africaness than wigs and colour. In the words of Chinua Achebe, "A Tiger doesn't go about showing its tigritude"
1st time here , i think *scratches head* :)
ReplyDeletelol@ MTV base, where else wld they learn their 'shakira moves
nothing wrong with 'it shall be well ' tho :)
Yoruba movies are TOO SWEEET!!! I couild donate to their industry sef. First class morals and on-point plots. Too much, mehn.
ReplyDeleteI believe rocking natural hair makes you more African, for real. Africans copy too much and wrongly and this is appalling.
Hair is the crown of a woman (or a yong woman) and men LOVE natural. How can one cultivate what is not your own?
Spare the Rod and spoil the Child.
ReplyDelete** there are physical and verbal rods, all very useful
This is ONE ranting sister! #laughing# i really gbadun the post ooo...i join you rant about the Nollywood nonsense o jare! I cried when i watched MY NAME IS KHAN!...*i gave it a standing ovation in my room!*....agreed with @ilola on the child issue...for now, i am 'save' becox my kids love cartoons...but in few years time nko? *sigh!* .. i go natural becox i have receding frontal hair line and weaves itch me badly esp when the heat is much...if not, i love braids and corn rows....i had always advocated for practical Christianity and am not a lover of inspirational or motivational talks! DO THE DO, & put talks aside o jare!
ReplyDeleteFor me the behavior of children depends on how they are raised. My aunt in america used to spank her kids and they never once called the cops on her.
ReplyDeleteIf i were you, I would have told the kids asap, but not a harsh manner, to take their plates to the kitchen and while they at it they should wash up.
About weaves, what I don't like is when it becomes and oppression. For me i don't care what u put on your head as long as it suits u. I don't like weaves.
3 IDOITS I have watched it, its a nice movie.
For nigerian films i am so tired of them. I wish they will do better.
www.secretlilies.blogspot.com
Gosh this your rant is so off da hook. It sure made sense pls! Funny enough everytime I rant like this, I'm always afraid to hit the 'publish' tab. You have given me hope, everybody has it jor, it's not abnormal at all LOL
ReplyDeleteWeaves: Whatever makes you beautiful and comfortable. God forbid that you can buy #500 yaki to cover your 'dirty linen', but you choose to leave it dangling in public. God also forbid that you could comb your hair and style it and look better but you decided to wear something that looks more like a hat than hair.
It is well: Infact you've killed me on that one o! Jeez you're funny. It made me remember one of my classmates back in Nig, you tell her anything, she replies with 'hallelujah o'. Goodmorning! She replies with 'hallelujah o' what sef? Can't you learn more words in English?! If that's your problem.
As for Nollywood, I'm SMH for those people. See Tonto Dikeh, she started off as a very good actress, now, she over exagerrates every thing. I'm not sure she can even understand herself if she takes time out to watch her movies. Is it Omotola? They just can't separate their celebrity status from their acting roles anymore. Thank God for the few good ones that we still have.
And for screening the channels, All I can say is, thank God that there are still good parents who understand the role of parenting!
Hmmmm! Good manners is very important. It can not be bought from the market!
ReplyDeleteI do NOT like the quality of Nigerian movies released to the market every minute! For this reason, I would not be in a position to vent my anger here! :)
Stay blessed!
NIL!! love your post.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the 'all will be well' thing. How will it be well if you don't do anything. There's nothing more irritating that a Christian that hides behind scripture as an excuse for inaction.
Just the other day, a man came to our church and begged the pastor saying he was hungry, his gas and electric had be cut off etc... Before the man finished talking the Pastor took him to his office and settled him, by the time the man came out the whole church had done a collection and sorted him out with money and food.
The man started crying there and there, he said he'd never seen so much money all at once in his whole life. At that point - all was well for him...
Folks need to refrain from saying all will be well. How will it be well, if you don't even pray for the person or do something to help them. KMT. How annoying.
NIL - see me joining you in ranting...
www.msluffa.wordpress.com
Hmm N.I.L! Where will I start from? ITA about some naija raised kids. They are brought up by house-helps who are paid to clear away after them, and their parents are too busy chasing money to teach them basic manners. You are patient o, I woulda told those children to take their plates to the kitchen AND wash them. And I'd have told their mum too that she and her kids had to pull their weight around the house. Last last she will vex and never return to my house. Whose loss?
ReplyDeleteThe hair thing, I won't even comment. TV = Babysitter for many parents. They don't have a clue what their children are watching, and probably won't care even if they did. Sow a storm, reap a whirlwind is all I can say.
I ranted about Nollywood a while back on my blog, there are some recommendations on there :). It is well my sister, have a blessed week.
@ Sisi Yemmie
ReplyDeleteLOL @ 'The person never chop for 2 days and you say it is well!' abi oh
Yes oh, re: rocking your hair and weave. Having that option is great.
Haba LOL @'Children without manners cannot live with me oh'....I can see you will not tolerate nonsense.
Now how did I know you will like Yoruba movies....mmmm. LOL
Thanks for dropping by. Hope all is well
@NikkiSho
LOL...Yes oh..I have had enough....and 'twonuff' sef
Agree re 'like some people are VERY serious about it' I wonder what happened to campaigning for equal rights, against war etc
I totally understand when you said you often stop watching halfway through English Naija films. I have done same so many times
Thanks for dropping by. Hope you are having a fab week so far. Take care of yourself oh
@Emeka
Yes oh....person dey vex. LOL
Wise words re 'Its now a family thing!' True. I think we are losing a lot of our old fashioned values.
Oh boy !!! ..I am loving this quote .."A Tiger doesn't go about showing its tigritude" GBAM.
That is sooo true. My brother, you have said it all. Hope all is well. Thanks for dropping by
@LG
ReplyDeleteWelcome *opening front door and inviting you in*
LOL @ 'where else wld they learn their 'shakira moves'
Tufiakwa! I really dont want to see some 5 year old winding her waist suggestively at party. No, no, no
'nothing wrong with 'it shall be well'......Yes, nothing is wrong with the arrangements of the words...na English abi.
However, the situation/ frequency those words are used can be annoying. Platitudes are an offence against common sense. LOL
Thanks for dropping by.
I shall be coming over to your blog
@Anonymous
LOL @'Yoruba movies are TOO SWEEET!'
Yes, what I particularly like is that most end with a clear moral message.
Re: rocking natural hair makes you more African.....I'm sure you know my stance on this. Please see Emeka's Chinua Achebe quote. That is now my official response to this 'hair debate' :))
Re 'How can one cultivate what is not your own?'...I would say the same way one washes their clothes - even though it is not your skin.:))
Thanks for dropping by. Do take care
@nutritionalert
Loving this: 'there are physical and verbal rods, all very useful' True. People often resort to physical too easily.
Thanks for dropping by. I hope all is well with you
@Ibhade
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoyed the rant.
Ohhhh re: MY NAME IS KHAN!......I cried eh.
LOL @ 'i gave it a standing ovation in my room!' You sef...I can just imagine you
Regarding your kids, I'm sure you will be able to control their TV programmes. I hear you regarding hair...na personal choice.
GBAM re: 'DO THE DO, & put talks aside o jare!'
That is what Christainity should be all about.
Thank you my sister. I hope all is well with you. I read your post today...e no easy at all. Anyway, do your best and leave the rest, Body no be firewood.
@Tamuno
Agree re 'the behavior of children depends on how they are raised'
Call the cops??? Na dat day two of us go wear one trouser. LOL
Re: telling the kids off...If they were there alone, I would probably have done that. However, their mum was sitting there and she is much older than me/my hubby - so I thought she should have known better.
I agree re: 'what I don't like is when it becomes an oppression' Feel you
I havent watched 3 IDIOTS. I'll def look out for it.
Thanks for dropping by. Hope all is well with you.
@MsJB
LOL @' off da hook'
Like Snoop will say - for shizzle. :)))
Why re ' I'm always afraid to hit the 'publish' tab' But why??? It's your blog abi. So long as you are not offensive, I think it's all good.
LOL @ 'you decided to wear something that looks more like a hat than hair' You no go kill person
Re: 'It is well'
I almost died of laughter at '....Goodmorning! She replies with 'hallelujah o' what sef?'
LOLLL....una no go kill poor man.
Yes oh...re: Tonto. They usually start of good ..then they start believing the hype. Epic mistake.
Thanks for dropping by. Do have a blessed week.
@Dee!
ReplyDeleteGbam re 'good manners... can not be bought from the market!'
Re: ' ..For this reason, I would not be in a position to vent my anger here!' But whyyyyy? I would have enjoyed that. LOL
Thanks so much for dropping by...Do have a peaceful week
@MsLuffa
I'm glad you liked the post
LOL @'How will it be well if you don't do anything'
Humph re: ' There's nothing more irritating that a Christian that hides behind scripture as an excuse for inaction.' Na God go bless you and increase your intelligence
God bless your pastor hundredfold. If all churches were like that, we wouldnt have people sleeping on the streets or going about hungry. Truly, God is using your pastor.
LOL @ 'see me joining you in ranting'.....that's because it is sooooo annoying abi.
Thanks so much for the comment and I am truly impressed by your pastor..
justjoxy
LOL @ 'Where will I start from...?'
Gbam re: 'They are brought up by house-helps who are paid to clear away after them...' You have captured the root of this problem
Yes oh, I am patient. But, I always give people a lonnnnng rope before I react.
Hair - no comment - Why??? :0)))
Gbam *to the power of infinite* re: 'TV = Babysitter for many parents'
You have used the apt saying 'Sow a storm, reap a whirlwind'
Re: Nollywood..I'll check out your post
Thanks for dropping by sister
lol very right...
ReplyDeleteas for the nigerian kids, i think its the new generation thing.. its meant to be cool now to let your kids do what they want to do.. unfortunately this will back fire one day..
as for nollywood.. esp the english movies as you pointed out.. i can't shout enough. their own is just annoying. Speak english, english does not have an accent, it is just ENGLISH.
as for it is well.. i must say i am guilty x_x
I understand and empathise with your rant as I feel the same on certain issues.
ReplyDelete1. Hair: Let each woman be fully persuaded in her own mind about what she wants to do with her hair and ignore what anyone else has to say except for the following exceptions;
a) It is a full head of weave yet looks more like a shrub than a head of hair. If you must wear a weave, choose your hairdresser carefully!
b) The weave is so old that it starts to pull away from the drab and unretouched hair. A weave is not meant to last a lifetime. It needs to be taken out every so often and refitted after the extensions have been treated or replaced.
c) Your hair's in dreads and hasn't been washed since you started to grow them out housing bacteria yet to be discovered by scientists.
d) I could go on but I won't.
2. Children raised in Nigeria vs children raised abroad. It used to be true that those raised in Nigeria were better behaved but I find that to be no longer to be the case. It's all down to the parents, whatever part of the globe they may live.
3. Nollywood!!! Oh Nollywood, where to start? It's sad that in spite of the prolific rate at which we produce movies, it is a case of quantity over quality. I am hopeful that a new crop of producers, screenplay writers, directors and actors/actresses will revolutionise the industry and affect the output. We live in hope!
4. For a lot of people, they would rather say something (even if they really have nothing worthwhile to say) than be silent. 'It shall be well' is one of the many 'christianese' terms people toss around to make them look deeply spiritual when they are about as spiritual as a church pew.
Sorry for the long comment but a post like that was just calling for one :o
i really really like your blog.. just read about 10 posts.
ReplyDeletebig kudos.
Great post N.I.L! So good we've got you glued to it responding to us. Lol.
ReplyDeleteI hear you re: kids raised in Naija, but for the most part, I have to say it's the fault of the parents o. I remember growing up and my mum used to compare us to our cousins in Naija, that they were "sooo well behaved". Well, after spending time with them and us, it didn't take her long to take her words back. And after spending time with my auntie, it didn't take long for me to see my mum don't play! LOL.
Weave vs Natural = nonsense! Get over it! It's just HAIR!
Oh, don't get me started on tv!!! Mscheeewwww! Too many parents let the tv raise their kids, and on top of that don't even bother to vet. Then when they start to display unwelcomed behaviour they say stupid things like "I don't know where he/she gets that from". Whatever!
Nollywood = a brilliant idea so poorly executed (SMH). You're so right, the Yoruba movies have a lot more substance.
That "it shall be well" slogan should be replaced with "ehen, so what do you want me to do? I can't be bothered jo".
Gosh, I think I got a lot of my chest too. Lol.
It shall be well sha. (Sorry, couldn't resist).
Hope you're having a great week.
;)
Ha ha loving the rant! Okay, I'm going to try and remember all my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteAbout kids being better behaved in Nigeria, I think there are different aspects to behaviour. Nigerian kids are more disciplined generally, learn about ambition and respect and fear their parents. However, unless their parents go out of their way to teach them good manners (please and thank you) and that the rest of the world does not have housegirls, they can often be rude and inconsiderate. Western children often do learn manners because they are more readily available in their surroundings however they are also surrounded by kids who speak back to their parents, don't care about school and have everything they want. I guess ultimately it's the parents responsibility, not society's.
Oh and Nollywood. You can't pay me to watch it - bad WRITING! Bad acting. Silly non-realistic storylines ... I better stop I can go on forever :)
Interesting post - thank you :)
By the way, with regards to the weave vs natural issue, when I said "get over it" that was directed to those warring about the issue and not to you jare.
ReplyDelete@angelsbeauty
ReplyDelete*Nodding my head* re:.....'unfortunately this will back fire one day'
LOL @'english does not have an accent, it is just ENGLISH'
So you are guilty of saying 'It is well' too !!
Hummph..anyway, I assume you say it appropriately....if not I urge you to repent. LOL
Hope all is well
@thewordsmythe
RE: Hair: LOL @ your exceptions especially......dreads - housing bacteria yet to be discovered by scientists'
RE: Kids..Totally agree that's its all down to the parents
RE: Nollywood ....Like you, I am hopeful that a new crop of artistes will revolutionise everything.
RE: 'It is well' - I loved what you said: ...'christianese' terms people toss around to make them look deeply spiritual when they are about as spiritual as a church pew'
No need to apologise for the comment. I really appreciate it. I've gone over to your blog and I liked what I read - I'll be back :0)))))
@oluSimeon
I am really, really touched.
I've been over to your blog and I love your 'believe' post
Thanks for dropping by. Much appreciated
Ms.Buki said...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the compliment Buki
Yes oh.....I have to respond to each comment - after peeps have taken their time to respond to my post LOL
LOL @'....after spending time with them and us, it didn't take her long to take her words back'
I too have realised that it really depends on the parents.
RE: Weave.....Totally agree re: 'Get over it! It's just HAIR!'
RE: Kids ......LOL @'I don't know where he/she gets that from". Whatever! Sooo TRUE!
Your description of Nollywood as 'a brilliant idea so poorly executed' is spot on. I'm hoping things will improve.
Absolutely re: '..........should be replaced with "ehen, so what do you want me to do? I can't be bothered jo"
Thanks so much for your comments Buki. Much appreciated....So you had to sneak in 'It shall be well' eh.....Humph...I can see you have a cheeky side LOL
Have a fab week/end...'It is well'
@Vickii
Glad you loved the post
Re: kids, I see what you mean when you say Naija born kids 'learn about ambition and respect and fear their parents' and 'Western children often do learn manners because they are more readily available in their surroundings' From experience, I agree that both sides have positives and negatives
So you're not a fan of Nollywood??? LOL @ 'I can go on forever'
Thanks for dropping by. Really appreciated.
@ Ms.Buki
Thanks B, I knew the comment was directed to the 'agitators' LOL
Thanks so much for taking the time to correct any misconceptions. Really appreciated.
Just read your reply, and I'm totally with you on that one.
ReplyDeleteThese are more than rants jo o, you've really spoken some senses. You know, sometimes I wondered what parents really expect their children to become from leaving them to grow under the tutoring of the media. Nowadays, they are just too lazy. Their wards only take after them, no doubt!
ReplyDeleteOn those uncouth children that came visiting you, it would interest you to know, N.I.L., that such behaviour are what most averagely balanced and above-average parents in Naija are really working towards implanting in their kids to show how 'elitist' they are.
You should really watch '3 idiots'. That film drew things from my eyes as I verily related with its story.
@Strong Self.
ReplyDeleteReally good to hear from you. How are you?
Re: 'uncouth kids'...After reading comments from readers - like yourself - I have now come to realise that it is only a certain class of parents that leave their kids to behave like this. Thanks to you all.
I really, really have to watch 3 idiots.
You must, must do a post on how/ why this has parallels with your life.
Thanks for dropping by. Much appreciated
@N.I.L.
ReplyDeleteI'm not bad at all, I'm feeling cool. How are you too? Now you've just given me a task on what to do on '3 idiots'. I will make the post. But before that is done, I would really like to watch the film all over again and let the pathos stir my empathy afresh so that the words for the post can freely bud from my minds to the keyboard...
I've found a resting place on this space of yours, I would always come around. Expect me soon.
@Strong Self:
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by
Hope all is well with you??
xoxox