My Dearest Pickin

Inspired by Naija parents dealing with badly behaved children abroad

My dearest pickin*

Wetin you learn today

for your spree spree* school?

Una learn to play

or.......how to look cool?

I see you learn well well

how to behave like fool.

And even open mouth tell

me.......say I be 'old school'.

I see say you no fit pass

Maths and English.

But you sabi harass

your classmates and teachers 

I even see say you get zero

when dem give una test.

Yet you be hero

to your useless friends

The other day you complain

say you go call olopa*

because I bring out my special cane

to whip you yeye* yansh*

My dearest pickin

I rather die

Than to see you begin

become thief and lie lie.

So, abeg come carry phone

because I ready to go prison

I no wan leave you alone

but my cane go make you see reason.

My dearest, yeye pickin

*pickin: child
*spree spree: speaking with a foreign accent
*olopa: police 
*yeye: nonsense, stupid
*yansh: backside